Porn Core Thumbnails : Marfisa’s Chastity Cage Captions

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Finding a caption sometimes means that I have a text and search for somehow fitting images. The more satisfying variant is when I find an image and it somehow “talks” to me and tells me a story, and all I have to do is to write it down.This one belongs

If you look closely, I think you can see a bit of Alison’s areola (sure, admitted, you can see all of her breasts and vagina in some of her other photos, but let’s ignore that for a moment). I think she’s saying something about prerogatives and

Photo sets from a porn or erotic shot are usually a bit problematic for my kind of captions, since the women in these kinds of sets have a certain tendency to quickly loose their clothes, and I would often prefer a series of photos of a fully clothed

The title is of course a sarcastic reference to some misguided theory how to explain different sexual orientations (the apostle Paul, by the way, developed the theory that God punishes people with gayness if they don’t feed the poor, which sounds equally

As soon as I discovered this picture, I wanted to caption it, but it took me half a year to come up with something. The result is probably underwhelming. Has somebody else a better idea?

I’d say that this is one of my few Not-Safe-For-Work posts, with all the library porn in the background.

Puppies and Bunnies are a bit of a mixed metaphor. But how else could you describe these eyes?

…or when you run, or when you take the stairs, or when you walk in a leisurely pace, or when you bicycle, or when you shower, or when your trousers are too tight, or when your balls itch,…

And the third most awesome thing in the universe are her golden panties.

Judging by her clothes, she doesn’t live on the North Pole, but is from some local branch. Or she’s magically resistant to cold.

I hope she gets paid well.

One of many, many captions with the aptly named Alison Angel.

A previous post discusses the relative merits of chainmail bikinis and serious armor.

Replace the batteries in her neck massager or whatever that thing is?

Perhaps I should mention that she needs several hours to reach orgasm. At least that’s what she claims.

Their hideout is in the lawless outback of Canada, I guess, the caption isn’t too clear on the details.

Bianca Beauchamp as a blonde.

You could try to reason with her, but isn’t the attempt to overwhelm someone with arguments a form of psychological violence?

On the bright side, you can tell your grandchildren that you once banged the queen. Well, I guess, you can tell your adopted grandchildren.

Find a value n with n>0 and 40n≤31n.

Perhaps a bit too late… although, maybe you could use a tachyon signal to beam yourself into the past and stop yourself from loosing your virginity, to be able to fulfill her wish.

But what if you decide to unlock him if and only if the tachyon signal tells him that he will stay locked?

It was just a matter of knowing the secret of all television: at the end of the episode, everything is back to normal.

And if that fails, I see a whip in the background.

The proper response is: “Licking your asshole is it’s own reward, so I don’t need any further incentive and feel honored to be allowed such a privilege.“

It is going to happen any moment now.

It’s very brave of her that she went searching at all, I’ve heard many pools are shark-infested.

I believe her. After all, it seems like she’s also unable to find her pants or her shirt.

https://64.media.tumblr.com/bcd89cba899b0119267373add40d05a5/tumblr_inline_nqgv2vyBRU1tu7k4y_540.png

On the other hand, they are slightly radioactive, so it’s dangerous to eat several tons a day.

You could say that he is female-genitalia-whipped.

I spent an inordinate amount of time researching different map projections and then implementing them myself.

This time, I got the title correct.

I think you shouldn’t ask ravens for relationship advice. It didn’t work out too well for Edgar Allen Poe.

Where can I get such a prop?

She sounds very reasonable, so maybe you can talk her into prolonging your lock-up time a bit more.

I admire her patience explaining all this obvious stuff.

Nah, she looks like a soft-hearted girl, she’ll probably unlock him once every few years.

I wonder what have happened to his key; who could have taken it?

https://64.media.tumblr.com/54ed32c973ddb4e94de558098234fc98/tumblr_inline_no5mhuywPp1tu7k4y_540.jpg

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This caption sort of violates my rule that the voice of these captions is always one woman somehow domineering a man, since in this case, two women can be heard. On the other hand, I guess no one else cares about my self-imposed rules.

So far, she’s just asking a question, but the title of the caption is a bit ominous. I’m not convinced that this will end well.

Congratulations! You have won three new captions.

There are a lot of bridges in a lot of different towns with a tradition that lovers attach a lock and throw the key into the river beneath, the Hohenzollernbrücke in Köln (Cologne) just happens to be the one where I’ve first seen a railing on a bridge

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I came into this game for the action, the excitement. Go anywhere, travel light, get in, get out, wherever there’s trouble, a woman alone.

It could have been worse: at least he didn’t end up as part of a human centipede for not reading the contract he was agreeing to.

Some aspects of these captions are obviously unrealistic because they violate the rules of physics: there are no indestructible alloys in the real world, no escape-proof chastity cages, no magical spells. Somewhat worse is that they often violate the

Another installment of “chastity cages, locks, water & rust”; this time though, it avoids the fallacy that a chastity cage wearer can shower, but is afraid of a pool, and it also gives some kind of rationalization why rust could be a problem:

https://64.media.tumblr.com/55d6830db22ac438ea4ab2e50ad2c279/tumblr_inline_nq1wtldZWS1tu7k4y_540.jpg

Admitted, there is a visible panties line, but I never quite understood what’s so horrible about that.

In my attempt to make my caption texts as short as possible, I tried to restrict myself to five words. I found that it’s still possible to say the same thing in different variants.

https://64.media.tumblr.com/9c39a388df2225007af537ad0a3ebba5/tumblr_inline_no5fvyIQ7u1tu7k4y_540.jpg

I bet it’s much, much shorter. Isn’t this how these kind of captions always work?

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In retrospect, I don’t remember any more why this caption is called “Warning Signs”. Shouldn’t it be called “Promising Signs” instead?

It seems like DC beats Marvel 3:1 in this series of captions. Which isn’t really meant as a statement on my part, since I’m not really an expert in comics or graphical novels or the like, and therefore not really qualified to judge the relative merits

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