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arborealgargoyle: [id: Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street looking down at Slimey, his orange and yellow striped worm. white text reads “everyone shut up / i’m experiencing childlike wonder” end id]

artificialacid:afraidofamericans:Literally a French pastry called a gougar

lowcountry-gothic:Winter Hot Spring, by Jed Henry.This piece was done in a modern shin-hanga style, which was dominant in the early 1900s at the peak of Japanese woodblock technique. Shin-hanga prints are known for their intricate realism, and require

funnytwittertweets:

kissycat:kissycat:Universities love to make their websites a fucking mazeUniversities websites love to tell you to email a guy who died 5 years ago

broken-horn-of-equius:magnetictapedatastorage:magnetictapedatastorage:tape casette recorders are compatible with literally every. single. thing. im out here living in 2095. things you can record (audio only), simply by lying to your computer, telling

mephostophilis:vang0bus:mephostophilis: mephostophilis:“it is what it is” and “what will be will be” convey the same sort of feeling in present and future tense but there’s no good past tense counterpart past tense is “fucked that up

thedoommerchant:thedoommerchant:fuck it we ball *turns off my work alarm and goes back to sleep*thank you for reimbursing me for one (1) hour of work at the federal minimum wage rate, anon. this is ubi 🛌

lacecap:I made it out of the torture labyrinth. and you can too

clover11-10:gorbyshere:millennial-review:How many chicken sandwiches does it cost to buy a house???A CHICKEN SANDWICH COST Ŭ.15. FIVE CHICKEN SANDWICHES AN HOUR COST ฤ.75.JUST PAY YOUR EMPLOYEES 20.75 AN HOUR!YOU FUCKING ANIMALS ITS NOT ENOUGH TO LIVE

seppukku:

dark-sappho:dark-sappho:waiting for my turn to speak in a conversation and trying not to interrupt literally feels like I’m trying to jump into a game of double dutchme trying to use my abysmal social skills

fallout-lou-begas:spleenyz:memewhore:

aflo:dragongirltitties:zipstick:bywandandsword: tilthat: TIL that in 1903 the New York Times predicted that building a flying machine would be possible in 1-10 Million years. via ift.tt To understand how ridiculous this is, the first successful powered

justpeachypiggy:stickers here

malefistache: queen-of-the-merry-men:

doyouknowwhatimeme:

carpisuns:no, YOU have a microwave brain that slowly rotates blorbos. I have a washing machine brain that rotates AND soaks them and sometimes things get a little intense and it starts going THUNK THUNK THUNK and nearly breaks itself because of blorbo

tiktoks-for-tired-tots:

abstract-donut:normalize feeding the homies until they’re too stuffed to move then giving them little belly kisses while telling them what a good job they did

witch-apologist:witch-apologist:Everytime i think about Steven Universe and the concept of Teshuvah I become something else. Rebecca Sugar, creator of SU is jewish and that cultural perspective is woven into the very fiber of Steven UniverseTeshuvah is

liberalsarecool:‘Hey, Alexa: show me treason’

liberalsarecool:liberalsarecool:Fcuking Republican ghouls. #NeverForget#Insulin

liberalsarecool:Sentence more white supremacists. Send a message.

peggyhill58:johngreen58:walterwhite58: I hope Hank doesn’t find out about my meth business lmao I hope Hank doesn’t find out about my meth business lmao I hope Hank doesn’t find out about my meth business lmao

kendra-p:I love Patroclus, I really vibe with the deeply depressing boredom he’s found in the afterlife.instagram

transmascskywalker:“i could fix him.” “i could make him worse.” yeah and i could do this to him

shineemay:this is my magnum opus

jaesig:queenstravelingdarling:alexaloraetheris:chinaannemcclaincontents:I’ve been laughing like a hyena for the past 15 minutesThis process right here??? Cinematic gold.“Arre yiu dhumm!?” In this essay, I will describe how much of a mood.com this

funnytwittertweets:

plantanarchy:plantanarchy:the next customer who comes in and says “gonna be a hot one!” I’m going to respond “ WHEW baby yer right bout to give myself some croccy sloppies this afternoon fer sure” with no explanation WHEW

telnaga:telnaga:we stole america just to pave it over and abandon itwhen im walking surrounded by empty cracked parking lots choked full of trash. every building empty, furniture piled high in the windows, yet homeless huddling outside them. rows of small

rettaroo:ilikeit-art:

badjokesbyjeff:A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped inches from a shop window. For a second, everything was quiet

drinkyourjuiceshelby:

queenerdloser: episode aired in 2008 and it’s still relevant bonus:

catboygirljoker:whitepeopletwitter:(via orc-sign-language)

girltonysoprano:“My 20s are for grinding” “my 20s are for having fun” me personally my 20s are for rotting in bed and having problems

theehorsepusssy:

bendingsignpost:et-in-arkadia:carys-the-ninth:“The magic system is never fully explained” yeah that’s how life works. Imagine having a story set in modern day America and the characters have several pages of exposition on combustion

algrolo:tuesdaey:tumblr mobile rules

redshifting:

egglands-worst:i think my dad came up with just about The Funniest reply to a meme i sent him

deirdreskye:deirdreskye:We’re entering an era where you go on Netflix and watch a cartoon toucan sing a song about nonbinary identity and then the autoplay puts on Dave Chappelle’s Kill All Faggots Comedy Special. When you’re done with

blueinaseaofred:reasoncourt:reasoncourt:reasoncourt:it’s settledcan’t say i’m not enjoying the leo slander on my tl rnHELP 💀

official-lixy:geniusoflove:

foxgirlintestines:radiofreederry:The assassin really just achieved every single one of his goals huhThe best platform for political reform will always be reminding politicians they are mortal.

wetorturedsomefolks:captain-price-officially:I think he’s serious. i say we lean into this. republicans only operate on knee jerk culture war reaction logic these days, so if we convince them highways and free parking spaces are communist and soy and

this-tree-is-my-boyfriend:spectrometrie:spectrometrie:when i was a kid my parents bought me an inflatable doll of the Scream by Edvard Munch (??) that was significantly taller than i was at the time and i used to slow-dance with it and pretend it was

apas-95:powerburial:dyatlovpassingprivilege:dyatlovpassingprivilege:the attempt on my life has left me scarred and deformed, jack truly why did they do this lmfao. “my fellow americans, i speak to you tonight in front of our great nation’s

blondexpoison:

Spej

captain-boomerang: captain-boomerang: check out this periodic table I have made a lot of bad jokes but this is still probably my greatest hit

jpnostalgia:vol-au-ventbaudelaire:25 years of ads peeled away The day has come. This is the only day of the year you can post this

triviallytrue:triviallytrue:triviallytrue:the fact that “getting swatted” is a thing that regularly happens to internet microcelebrities in the US is absolutely fucking insanesilver lining is it means anyone above a certain level of fame in

High holidays PSA

pachacamac:radiofreederry:holy shit based

mysharona1987:

maddiesharafian: This one hovered around my heart for over a year <3

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