What a bunch of crap! (roadheadonthedaily.tumblr.com)
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withbleedinghandsifight: prowling-lights: This pun…..oh man….. In less than one month, this pun will no longer be in use. Cherish it. Bask in its glory.
jiveturkeyjerky: I love the guy who’s clearly a teacher who came over with the intent to tear two fucking idiot teenagers apart from each other only to find these fucking nerds it probably made his entire month
pulpfanfiction: nayx: Print it. Fuck it. am i supposed to laugh at “print it. fuck it.” or the fact that the dude is the fucking same guy as the little advertisement in the same position im so confused
2econdp2iioniic: flomation: Farts are the ghosts of the food we eat
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calsgang: IM LAUGHING SO MUCH I just got back from shopping and I saw the nerf gun lying behind the sofa and I was so confused, but then I heard someone laughing and it was my nan, she’s 80 for christ sake just look at the concentration on her face
SpongeBob SquarePants
livingonatlantis: blind-diode: odinsblog: …I’ve been going thru this guy’s twitter for the last hour this is the shit @misbranded
princemetalthunder: skrill-cosby: drucila616: How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that
tarynel: fanboy-trav: hypersexualfangirl: file this under the shit-load of under appreciated people who you never learn about in school By fucking hand, bro. you always hear about the first man on the moon but never this
tourettesandsex: urbies: xbostons: lostboyonadeadthrone: If your girlfriend has sexual intercourse with another girl. Is that considered cheating? If I’m right handed and I punch you with my left, did I really hit you? I’ll reblog this every
🌙
rad
creativeandfree: 😂😂😂😂😂😂
jewsquats: squats-socks-shamrocks: To anyone that hasn’t had their first kiss yet, or has never been asked out on a date, or asked anyone on a date, or hasn’t had a significant other yet: please don’t worry about reaching an age and not checking
partybarackisinthehousetonight: i finally found the best youtube comment
snapchat @devinlin
kneesbutt: westfailia: what if a catholic priest were to just bless the entire ocean would it turn the entire thing into holy water or do priests have an effective blessing range? does that range increase based on your level? can the pope bless the
wisekelp: Repost this anywhere
littlegreendinosaur-: Pretty sure i’m getting so fat that food porn is legit getting me wet… Not sure how i feel about that.
just-shower-thoughts: Abstinence-only sex ed is like a defensive driving course that says, “Don’t drive.”
spoof: what do you mean for 6 year olds
thedailylaughs: im-patrick-stumped: this-is-cthulhu-privilege: spookleic-asshole: ilikechildren–fried: the-clockwork-crow: eee-in: the-clockwork-crow: fuckboy4equality: nucleic-asshole: itsdeepforhappypeople: lordwellingtonofficial: dyrks:
micdotcom: Watch: Bill Nye uses science to defend women’s reproductive rights.
Liv
only1600kids: I really like Liz
FIREDRILL
prasejeebus: Him: You ready? ;) Me: Yeah :) Him: *sticks the tip in* Me:
My dentist once told me that letting go is like pulling a tooth. When it was pulled out, you’re relieved, but how many times does your tongue run itself over the spot where the tooth once was? Probably a hundred times a day. Just because it wasn't hurting
ultra-cheesecakepizza-me: blustrology: puzzleypuzzler: goopy-amethyst: goopy-amethyst: pearlpines: ohcaptainmycaptain1918: kynisme: clueless-gamer: 2snowy4u: imivi: jointeamfreewill: gipsy-bones: unicornpancakes: ask-the-multishipper:
fur24: hey stranger things can happen
welcome.
sophrph: working in retail
infernosky: snailphobe: I love Brendon Urie miles and miles away…. Taylor Swift trembles. falls to the floor as profit…slips away from an already-successful artist’s fingertips….. how……. why…….. but the copyright laws…………. the
How you doin'?
fmlsdaily: Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying “I just dropped the b*tch off I’ll be there in a few baby, miss you”. I asked him about it. He said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Megan”.
fmlsdaily: Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room. She had my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML
fmlsdaily: Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed “Yes Brittany!” at the top of his lungs. My name’s not Brittany. That’s his sister. FML
fmlsdaily: Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, “You… want me… take picture?” while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, “No thanks asshole,
fmlsdaily: Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said “Did I say you could take a picture?” He replied with, “No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?” I turned
fmlsdaily: Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML
fmlsdaily: Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I’m now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML
fmlsdaily: Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML
awwooooooo: Cat Mechanic : I’m actually called a Vet Me : please check that there is enough oil in my cats engine
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ohmystydiaheart: sulietsexual: Friendly reminder that Ross Geller Walked his ex-wife down the aisle after her parents refused to do so Was an active and involved parent to both his children over the course of the show Bought Phoebe a bike when he heard
kyounlimited: thornsword: theartofwazzing: maria-ruta: bluetiesandflannelshirts: maria-ruta: hamburgergod: maria-ruta: schottishy: m-i-y-u-k-i-nyaa: daitoshi: all-canadian-striderp: cheese3d: cheese3d: anyone please ask your crush out like
consistentlyinconsistentxo: stripperina: alxbngala: Money Cats masterpost, to have your LIFE!! filled with money. and cats Would rather my life be filled with cats at this point
MY GRANDPA WANTED TO BE AN ARTIST
muchlikebear: if-you-see-gay-me: gotitforcheap: chucklebot: I am going to find this cafe and burn it down. *locks eyes with the barista as I spray whipped cream into my coffee* motherfucker I am PAYING for caffeine and the right to enjoy it any
montypla: a true hero
mermeme: dirtylittledamsel: when he asks for nudes but you’re not in the mood
nice!