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jessepnkman: ladies, if a guy doesn’t eat pussy but still expects to get his dick sucked… laugh right in his face. laugh as you put your clothes back on. leave the room in the midst of your laughter. go home while laughing. keep laughing for the
henrycavills: in movies when kids sneak out through their windows and im just like why dont you have screens in your windows who doesnt have screens in their windows what do you just let bees and bugs and birds and shit fly into your room what the fuck
ectolime: bodtcrack: if youre not emotionally ready to go back to school everyday clap your hands
primadonna-grrrl: I’m doing a little giveaway and its all about the ladies! I’ll be giving away a t-shirt in your choice of Crush the Patriarchy, Cats Against Cat Calls or Riots Not Diets print (all of which go up to at least a size 2xl) your choice
sunsetsandserotonin: amysphoenix: ughwenz: Get rid of your boundaries and the universe is yours. i know i reblog this a lot but fuckin look at it
misterchekov: reblog if your dick is longer than your arm
intensional: winglessraven: zaynspersonalbodyinspector: In our society today girls feel that they need to be skinny in order to find love. Fact is, your true love is gonna love you no matter what. If he cares about the size of your thighs more
segasaturns: when your down to your least favorite pokemon
tennants-hair: porn always ends up on your dash it doesn’t matter if you only follow disney blogs you will get porn on your dash
natsmum: ’[cool user] liked your post…’ ’[cool user] reblogged your post…’
morphine-and-cigarettes: RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU HAVE A HOPELESS CRUSH ON SOMEONE YOU CAN NEVER CALL YOURS
forgivensam: dick-jenga: a muggleborn student gets called a mudblood, so they lick their hand and wipe it on the pureblood’s face, singing “got mud on your face, you big disgrace, somebody better put you back into your place” all the muggleborns
2spooky4boo: Restroom air dryers are a great way to warm your hands before wiping them on your jeans
mathpreacher: accidentally forgetting your earbuds at home is like accidentally leaving your first born child at the gates of hell
lilaceverglades: evilsoutherngentleman: theblogthatneversleeps: Barack Obama has attained a level of sassiness one can only dream of. Holy shit it’s real. when the president of your country has to subtweet to get a message across, you know your
slydigger: *comes over to your house* *eats all your food* *leaves*
know-your-body: debunkingabortion: pro-choice-or-no-voice: your-lies-ruin-lives: tattooed-messianic-tiffy: oh-snap-pro-choice: It’s almost like pro choicers were right all along about birth control being the best way to reduce abortion rates….
have you ever realised that sleeping is just your eyes staring at your eyelids all night long
automatically: if you want a nice body, go get it. if you want to become a lawyer, study your ass off. if you want nice hair, pick a style and get it done. stop being afraid and motivate yourself. find yourself. find your happiness, because it’s out
anotherpunk: “Your dress is too short.” Thanks, the designer used your dick for inspiration.
shingekinoheichoo: okay guys i know next to nobody will reblog this but please if a family member has ever made a “harmless” comment (what have you done to your hair/what the hell are you wearing/etc) to you about your appearance and it hurt you,
anusclap: laughing with your best friend until your stomachs hurt <3
whouer: when you try your best but your don’t succeed
highenergyjewtrino: poryqon: when you are doing a group activity in class and your teacher puts the smart kid in your group When you are doing a group activity in class and you’re the smart kid.
fake-mermaid: do you ever wash your face with cold water and feel like your life has changed dramatically
chinese-zeus: lollipops are so weird youre literally swallowing your own flavored saliva
allteensrelate: seeing your one successful post on your dash like
nintendofunclub: c0caino: Take your age and add 5 to it. That is your age in 5 years.
zygoats: “if feminists want equality does this mean we can punch women now?” go ahead chicken shit punch me in the fucking face. i will shove your entire upper body into your own ass and make you fuck yourself from the inside out
volcainist: allteensrelate: seeing your one successful post on your dash like
unprime: when you’re trying to sing your favorite song and your friend tries to start singing with you
feathor: when your friend cusses in front of your parents
jaclcfrost: let me check your temperature [puts hand on your forehead] hm. hmm. ah. yes. just as i expected. you’re totally cute
dingoinnuendo: people who type lol when theyre mad are the people you have to watch out for theyll fucking stab you in the back in a dark alley and steal your wallet whispering “lol” all passive aggressively into your ear. same goes for “lmao”.
freckle-goddess: fayedaniels: blackgirlsrpretty2: it’s not your job to entertain him by sending him nudes it’s not your job to satisfy him sexually because he’s horny you are not required to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or that
heteroh: when your parents threaten to take your allowance away
weavemunchers: imagine if your fridge did what you do to it everyday, every half hour goes to your room opens the door and stares at you for 5 minutes then leaves
amortentiafashion: Add a touch of life to your outfit by tying your hair back with a very tiny snake.
gnarly: WHEN YOU FORGET YOUR CHARGER AND YOUR PHONE DIES
imaginethebutts: keep your mutuals close and the ones that reblog your selfies even closer
aestheticrequiem: rococobutter: bonobo-majk: rococobutter I AM NEVER GOING TO LIVE DOWN SUPERGLUING MY HAND TO MY BOOT AND THE CALLING MAGS IN A PANIC! HOW DID YOU SUPERGLUE YOUR HAND TO YOUR BOOT?!
aarontreble: When you say something bad about your self and your friends agree
thepulpgirls: Final hours of our After Dinner Special sale!! 35% off your order with code TASTY ✌ what’s your sign?? ♈♉♊♋♌♍♎♏♐♑♒♓⛎ (at 💕💖 THEPULPGIRLS.COM 💖💕)
caseyanthonyofficial: When your girlfriend tries to hold your hand before marriage
shitshilarious: shitshilarious: DAMMNIT SUSAN I SAID GET ME THE EXPENSE REPORTS NOT SIT AROUND WITH YOUR THUMB UP YOUR ASS max wants to make it clear that he is grateful for the 100k notes but that he is normally a lot more easy going and professional
lamapalooza: this is your captain speaking, AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING.
notquiteshakespeare: truelladeville: theblogchoseme: truelladeville: I wanna see pictures of your lowest moment from 2013 go I was in a Toy Story play. And I loved it. You’re an inspiration to us all please explain how this was your lowest
thisisthegoodsamaritan: When you’re with your squad and your song comes on.
boobslyn: Do you ever just wanna sit in someones lap and straddle them but not even in the sexy way, in the I just wanna wrap myself around you and lay my head on your shoulder with my face pressed against your neck you kinda way
feministmagicalgirl: don’t yell at cashiers if they are asking you to sign up for a charge/debit card - their employers are pushing them to ask everyone don’t yell at cashiers if they’re taking too long folding your clothes in your bags - their
somefagonyourdash: when ur showing someone a picture on your phone and they try to look through all of your pictures
idioticteen: listening to your favorite band with your friend
claydols: ohana means family. family means having your life choices questioned and your flaws pointed out to you
seabelle: I can’t stand these fucking people with these fucking family window stickers on their cars a murderer is gonna come into your fucking house and you’re gonna try to hide your kids in the fucking closet and he’s gonna be like naw bitch
profiting: when you just got done arguing with your mom and you realized your hungry
rhapsodybrohemian: boobslyn: Do you ever just wanna sit in someones lap and straddle them but not even in the sexy way, in the I just wanna wrap myself around you and lay my head on your shoulder with my face pressed against your neck you kinda way
grungeisde4d: this is really selfish but why can’t mental illness be like any other kind of sickness where you go to hospital and your loved ones come and give you flowers and tell you that they love you and hold your hand and make sure you get better
praises: YOU MIGHT GET MARRIED ONE DAY AND GET TO LIVE WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND AND DECORATE YOUR HOME WITH THEM AND DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER LIKE WATCH LATE NIGHT INFORMERCIALS JUST BECAUSE AND SEE THEIR SLEEPY FACE WHEN THEY WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND
![natsmum: ’[cool user] liked your post…’ ’[cool user] reblogged your post…’](https://40.media.tumblr.com/avatar_22809032f866_128.png){kind=avatar}
