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mommysgirlgillian: Mom used to joke that she never wanted me to come out of the closet - she wanted to me to go into the closet, specifically her big walk-in-closet with the sturdy shelves I could sit on while she ate me out…
intoxifaded: Okay so omg wow So today I was in the worse mood EVER And my mom was late after work So I went to try on clothes ‘cause I got my paycheck today And I tried this shirt on as a joke And like, as soon as I put it on, I felt soooooo happy
apervertedthought: Need milk ? Thanks for the submit ;) My mom sometimes submits to my blog as a joke.
yummum109: privatefamilytime: One time Mom told me with a laugh that she could be just as naughty as the girls I dated, if not naughtier. I played along with what I thought was the joke and told her to prove it. She just smirked but a few hours later
ryanneisyours: tyleroakley: “Baby Moved to Tears When Mom Sings” THIS IS NO JOKE THE CUTEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE He’s like…. Oh snap I can’t cry, I can’t help it I’m going to cry…
saxypone: My mom either knows too much or the joke is on her.
jakemalik: so I was going to re enact the video of the girl that pretends to go into labour (here) to send to someone as a joke, but I forgot my mom was upstairs taking a nap when half way through she started running downstairs screaming if I was
onedirtymommy: thepyemancometh: When Mom asked if she looked good I jokingly said yeah you give me “blue balls” all the time … well she was having none of that and made sure I was not suffering Mom son porn
I walked into the family room and found my mom laying on the couch watching TV. “Nice tits”, I said, jokingly. She didn’t cover up or move to hide them; just said “This dress is just so tight, and after the party at work I just
I’ve been laughing hysterically at unfunny things for the past few days, so this probably is nowhere near as funny as it seems to me now. BTW, my mom laughs like Bel. NO. JOKE. It kinda ruins him for me sometimes. :<
taboolicious: hey kiddos, don’t forget we #stream daily here at #almastriga, only on #picarto so yeah, tell your mom, tell your dad, your cat we are fun for the whole family! (that is a bad joke, don’t bring your family we very much #nsfw) just
pika-dean:polyglotplatypus:I mean you either get twice the usual amount of dad jokes or get stuck into an infinite loop of “go ask your mom”i thought this was gonna be really rude or something but it ends up that dad jokes, is the ultimate burden
No joke I accidentally found my mom’s weed stash in the cabin and I FaceTimed her and she got all flustered and embarrassed and oh how the turn tables. She also said I could smoke it. ☺️ Please ignore my @mikeshardlemonade black cherry mustache
It is no joke that chancla was deadly accurate. My mom would tag me from the kitchen all the way into the living room. Headshot BOOM 💥 https://www.instagram.com/p/B4mxPk5AZq2b2sPqe4GufOWXpg3WJY0L8-XZZQ0/?igshid=okmqxptmh7w
"A film with a mom as the hero would be a joke..."
aobas-cumface:My 13 yearold sister got asked out as a joke today. She’s now locked herself in her room crying. I swear to god this is the most fucked up thing ever. She won’t speak to me or my mom and she’s blasting Taylor Swift but you can still
dragonasartanddoodles: Best warm up drawing I’ve ever done tbh. THAT WHITE LADY BETTER RETURN THE BABY SAFE AND SOUND OR THESE GALS ARE READY TO KICK CELESTIAL ASS BLUE MOM AND BIRB MOM ARE NOT JOKING AROUND lol XD
dykelapis: tbh my favourite joke in all of SU so far is the fact that they decide a 20ft tall, 6-armed, 2-mouthed monster mom is more socially acceptable than 3 regular moms as long as it’s in a het relationship
dean-the-piesexual: OK STORY TIME I WAS BABYSITTING THIS 6 YEAR OLD BOY AND WE ATE POPSICLES, THIS WAS THE JOKE ON MINE AND I TOLD IT TO HIM, BECAUSE THATS WHAT YOU DO WITH JOKES AND SO LIKE A DAY LATER I GET THIS CALL FROM HIS MOM AND SHE SAYS “My
gemlings: the woes of bath time shepard tells dad jokes and liara is the galaxy’s most patient mom
Q: what would your gem weapon be? Deedee: A healing blanket, because she’s a mom and has that maternal drive Michaela: The power of a bad joke Shelby: The power to read minds
torpidgilliver: dean-the-piesexual: OK STORY TIME I WAS BABYSITTING THIS 6 YEAR OLD BOY AND WE ATE POPSICLES, THIS WAS THE JOKE ON MINE AND I TOLD IT TO HIM, BECAUSE THATS WHAT YOU DO WITH JOKES AND SO LIKE A DAY LATER I GET THIS CALL FROM HIS MOM AND
apervertedthought: My mom seen at school, during the times when she taught AP Calc. I always thought she just enjoyed the attention from guys (shy, nerdy ones at that, as she joked with me and dad about how she had a thing for nerds). I didn’t realize
kingerock288: afreakin-goddess: This is no joke tho. one time my brother snuck out, managed to get past all the obstacles that come with having an African mother, except one. MY MOM HAD A DREAM THAT MY GRANDMOTHER TOLD HER TO WAKE UP AND CHECK ON THE
gthorndal: so i came up with a joke the other day while i was showering and it’s quite possibly the dumbest thing i’ve ever thought but i laughed for a good five minutes out loud in the shower my mom thought something was wrong with me okay here
swtorlife: isis-: gthorndal: so i came up with a joke the other day while i was showering and it’s quite possibly the dumbest thing i’ve ever thought but i laughed for a good five minutes out loud in the shower my mom thought something was wrong
mmmskulljuice: Things I have in common with Sans -Love corny jokes -Generally a good-natured lazybones -Hangs out with cool moms (shut up my mom is awesome) -The easiest enemy -Affinity for hotdogs and stacking them -Will completely fucking wreck you
isis-: gthorndal: so i came up with a joke the other day while i was showering and it’s quite possibly the dumbest thing i’ve ever thought but i laughed for a good five minutes out loud in the shower my mom thought something was wrong with me okay
iandmyfamily: My mom took me on a picnic the other day. When we got to the park, she walked to a table and I opened the trunk to get the picnic basket, but there wasn’t one. I turned to around to jokingly ask her what she was planning on feeding me.
andmaybegayer:wereblossoms:istandonsnowpiles:yr-tiktok-mom:When the joke goes too far and you end up a girlLmao thank you for this tagThis is the opposite of egg, if you do this for a year and you’re still cis, you are the cis-est person alive.
wingwisher:roach-works:andmaybegayer:wereblossoms:istandonsnowpiles:yr-tiktok-mom:When the joke goes too far and you end up a girlLmao thank you for this tagThis is the opposite of egg, if you do this for a year and you’re still cis, you are the
“I just kind of disengage with reality and the world because it feels like a fucken bad joke that keeps happening over and over around me.” - My mom. The thing about this is that im the same way. My mom is crazy, and in a mental home right
punchdrunklove: breakingipods: breakingipods: everyone is making jokes about how britain should take back the colonies but I mean i really don’t think Britain wants us anymore America is like the crack addicted son that stole his moms boat and sailed
skimpymoms: I got this bikini for my mom as a joke, but surprisingly, she actually likes it! Mom led me to the hot tub to give me a “thank you” present for my gift.
shescheatingbro: Your wife and son were hanging out in the backyard by the pool. Your son jokingly asked, “Mom, do you mind if I skinny dip?” She looked up from her book, “Sure why not. I won’t look.” Your son’s face turned red and he said,
mommy-breeder: Dad had been a pain in the ass the entire road trip. Finally, mom had enough and at the next motel she joked that HE’D be in the second room. He started laughing about all the extra sleep he’d get without her snoring, but when I followed
trans-mom: i-am-captain-snark: trans-mom: “switch” or as I like to call it: “we’re both subs so someone’s gotta dom” Is this the BDSM version of “no you hang up first” Insert suspension bondage joke here.
poeticrican: fiialqamarr: adorkableblackberry: wherethekindasortawildthingsare: the-goddamazon: kiss-me-on-myneck: yasboogie: White Syracuse school guard’s ‘joke’ gets black student to assume the position, mom says Twelve-year-old Brandon
sexualcontrol: When my girlfriends mom came up to school, i got to meet her the first time. We went out to dinner, and joked and enjoyed the evening. When she was leaving - she said, “Make sure you keep my daughter in line”. I smiled a bit and
andimprouvaire:do you ever share a tumblr joke with your mom only you need to like, cut the curse words and complete the sentences and by the time you do that it’s a completely different syntactical structure and possibly a separate language I’ve
infraggable: iamchinyere: The most fucked up joke life will play on you is letting you meet the right person at the wrong time. Letting your mom catch you masturbating is a pretty big fucking joke that life likes to play as well.
royalsiblings: Mom and dad won’t let me date or go out after 7 because they’re afraid of what might happen to me, but that’s fine. The joke’s on them. I’d rather be home with my big brother any night of the week.
iandmyfamily: Mom took me as her date to my father’s, her ex-husband’s wedding. Dad was an ass the entire time, clearly having invited Mom and I to show off his new bimbo wife. The joke’s on him, though. We had our own revenge. Mom gave me a
skimpymoms: suchagoodson: When I went to answer the doorbell I saw that my aunt had stopped by. I cracked the door open and jokingly asked “What’s the password?“ Needless to say I let her in. Follow SkimpyMoms for sweet mom & son sex!
