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“I’m hung like a Baskerville Hound.”
“Sex doesn’t alarm me. Want me to prove it?”
“Hiiiii… I seem to have misplaced the key to your heart… Would you mind buzzing me in?”
“If convenient, meet me in my bedroom. If inconvenient, come anyway.”
“If we were at a restaurant together, I wouldn’t deny that you were my date.”
“Would you like to go round and round the garden like a teddy bear with me?”
“Being without each other… Isn’t it hateful?”
“If you think my cheekbones are prominent, just wait until you see the bone in my pants.”
“I would have dinner with you even if I wasn’t hungry.”
“I never want to say ‘LATERZ!’ to you.”
“Who cares about decent? I am turned on!”
“I’d like to get some from you… And I’m not talking about cigarettes.”
“Would you let me come into your ‘cab’ with my 'harpoon’?”
“My chemical defect for you could never put me on the losing side.”
“You make me go ‘Oh my GAAAAAWD!’ more than a hydraulic bed.”
“I’d hit that 1895 times.”
“It’s a good thing I find breathing boring, because you take my breath away.”
“I regret deleting the solar system, because you are out of this world.”
“I wanted to be a pirate so I could get at your booty.”
“It’s going to take more than three patches to cure my addiction to you.”
“You are really my area.”
“I would dress for you the way I dress going to Buckingham Palace.”
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but riding crops excite me.”
“You do count… Even if I didn’t need a suicide assistant.”
The best of Sheriarty, from BBC Sherlock pick-up lines.
“My idea of a romantic lunch date: Two bags of Quavers and analyzing dirt!”
“We’re so domestic, people are even shipping our mugs.”
“I’d like to snuggle under a blanket with you even if we weren’t in shock.”
“I think you’re neater than poisoned children.”
“I can’t take my eyes off of you… No, really. I can’t. It’s for an experiment.”
“If I dress up as a museum security guard, will you let me inspect the work of art in your pants?”
“I’d like to conduct a Study in your Pink.”
“The newspaper says that you’re a confirmed bachelor… Want me to fix that?”
“When I told you to take my card, I meant my V-card.”
“If you’re a hedgehog, can I be your hedge?”
“I like the ball that I brought to Bart’s, but I’d much rather play with your balls.”
“I suggest we do that thing where two people who like each other go out and have fun.”
“I didn’t need five minutes to feel that we had a special something.”
“Forget outliving four people– let me show you the most fun you can have with or without an aneurysm.”
“I like your strong moral principle and nerves of steel, and that’s not just the shock talking.”
“I would care if your life was at stake, even if it didn’t help save you.”
“You are far more than a seven, therefore I would leave the flat for you.”
“You are more indispensable than my homeless network.”
“I’d like to fiddle with you when I’m thinking– and I’m not talking about playing the violin.” Inspired by this (source unknown).
“I would sniff your second hand smoke even if I wasn’t going through cigarette withdrawals.”
“I’ll eat you out even though digestion slows me down.”
“I’m crazy for you, and not in a Project H.O.U.N.D. kind of way.” One of my real-life friends suggested a “crazy for you” line with Henry a long time ago, but I can’t remember which one, sooooo… This is me not
“I would name my daughter after you even if Sherlock wasn’t a girl’s name.”
“Finding someone as beautiful as you is more difficult than getting Sherlock to follow the rules of Cluedo.â€
“I would love you even if you looked (and smelled) the part for one of my homeless network.â€
“Will you be the Sherlock to my Buckingham Palace? I want you inside of me with no clothes on.â€
“Are you Sherlock Holmes? Because I wanna see you shake your mind pal-ass.â€
“Humiliating Sherlock may be by far the greater pleasure, but you are by far the greatest pleasure.â€
“If you and I had an appointment in Samarra, I would never go to Sumatra and become a pirate instead.â€
“I would go right into Hell and make it look like I meant it just to save you.â€
“Eurus may think I’m nicer than anyone, but just wait until you see my naughty side.â€
“You can borrow my handcuffs in the salad drawer anytime… But only if you use them with me.â€
“Getting over you is more impossible than arresting a jellyfish.”
“Will you be the Redbeard to my Yellowbeard?”
“If I be the Thatcher bust, will you be the flash drive? I want you inside of me.”
