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ohhowlucky:danteogodofsoup: killbenedictcumberbatch: standupcomedyblog: John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the
chantosakura: sknjob: top reasons to get married Firmly saying “That’s my wife!” and knock someone out in one punch love i guess john mulaney ghostwrote this
snuffysbox:Hades as John Mulaney quotes compilation
zombolouge: thepioden: quietlyrebelling: impossiblerebelblaze: septic-everlasting: 27-umbrellas: Who is this??? Wrong answers only Bruce Wayne The only student in the fifth hogwarts house, Gun John Mulaney about to kill princess Diana
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justlookatthosesausages: invisiblespork: ohhowlucky: danteogodofsoup: killbenedictcumberbatch: standupcomedyblog: John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY This is one of the
grushnitsky: timesarehardfornewsies: John mulaney is the human equivalent of a shitpost he’s literally a stand up comedian by trade. he does comedy for a living. it’s his job to tell jokes.
brainshart: John Mulaney, a true ADHD icon
dragongf: Some ppl say comedy is dead cause of “political correctness” but like john mulaney did an entire bit on captchas and bo burnham did an entire bit on not being able to fit ur hand inside a pringles can so really anything is possible as long
patron-saint-of-smart-asses: taylor-tut: taylor-tut: y’all know that john mulaney quote “the things crazy people say mean nothing to them but everything to me?” every time i hear that quote, i think about how i got this light-up pen i got this
asafruca: yelnatszeroni: frogmp3: buckakke: john mulaney talking about how much he loves his wife and roasting other male comedians that just talk shit on their wives is why The Gays like him so much because he’s what Straight Culture should be
libertarirynn: novaya-model: kitausu: novaya-model: novaya-model: novaya-model: novaya-model: novaya-model: In approx. 6 months when all of Tumblr hates John Mulaney and wants to burn him at the stake for no apparent reason, I will remember
every jewish woman on the planet is funnier than john mulaney
jewish-privilege: oakttree: captainlordauditor: jellyfishdirigible: mckitterick: sweaterkittensahoy: bogleech: asafruca: yelnatszeroni: frogmp3: buckakke: john mulaney talking about how much he loves his wife and roasting other male comedians
willowdove: destructive-distractions: My favorite thing about John Mulaneys Instagram is the random artsy pictures of his wife Some examples: Look at that last caption! He’s so excited to take pictures of his beautiful wife, it’s adorable Its
witcherson: makomoriz: John Mulaney for Esquire, 2019
mulaneysbutt: “But it’s very strange. Cause this is the first time I’ve ever seen a law change because the government was just like, ‘*sigh*… fine’.” Mulaney: An Opening Act Preview Special | (x)
conmimi: I don’t know what possessed me to do this“A Child with Lawyers” by John MulaneyPart Two
ificannotfly: super-mario-girl: I can’t believe no one has posted a clip of this yet. This is one of the funniest bits in the whole show. The bad singing about bread is viscerally accurate and his priest voice is perfect.
kylostantrums:
squeeful: bastlynn: iamanartichoke: lokijiro: alstee: noli-ge: wukodork: rootbeergoddess: agentrandom: onajam: silly-slacker-person: rellasnowheenim: pepper-stark: This is my favorite celebrity headline of today John Mulaney voice:
beach-bummer-jellyfish: ok don’t get me wrong the ‘salt and pepper diner’ bit is hysterical, but john mulaney has so many more hilarious stories that no one seems to talk about: •the party at the house of the teacher that everyone hated •the
micaxiii: bake-nekos-blog: do-you-have-a-flag: another FAR TOO RELATABLE bit from John Mulaney here @zacrathedemon5 #IM LISTENING TO A PODCAST. WHILE THINKING ABOUT ANOTHER PODCAST.
nonbinaryvexahlia:john mulaney is queer culture but bo burnham is “I’ve been depressed since I was extremely young and never properly learned how to cope with that so I choose to ignore that problem by making jokes under the guise of a coping mechanism
windyvalleyzone: sammysausage: meme-team-risk-analyst: canadianstuck: One of the funniest things I ever experienced was when I went to go see John Mulaney live, and halfway through a bit about how expensive college in the States is, he looked down
nonbinaryvexahlia: john mulaney is queer culture but bo burnham is “I’ve been depressed since I was extremely young and never properly learned how to cope with that so I choose to ignore that problem by making jokes under the guise of a coping mechanism
thatspookyfeeder: thatspookyfeeder: There is no reason I should want to fuck John Mulaney and yet He looks like Fitz. Son of a fuck Just imagine feeding him until the buttons on his vest pop off
vichy: vichy: i think. ok. like. john mulaney and the mcelroys aren’t actually that funny in terms of their improv/the quality of their jokes. there are people with much better written comedy sets and funnier improv, but the way that they deliver what
movingtomarzipan:john mulaney and linda from bobs burgers have the same aura
surprisebitch: dinkywinks: this is… maybe the funniest thing that’s ever happened on television? i’ve never seen someone so thoroughly derail a late night talk show, i could honestly watch cardi b and john mulaney talk for hours she’s so baked
bogleech: asafruca: yelnatszeroni: frogmp3: buckakke: john mulaney talking about how much he loves his wife and roasting other male comedians that just talk shit on their wives is why The Gays like him so much because he’s what Straight Culture
batmanisagatewaydrug: nycstark: jxhn-mulaney: petermaximoff: petermaximoff: like whats the average lifespan of an asgardian? like yeah thor is 1500 but what if thats just like 23 in human terms googled “asgardian lifespan” found this, so if
potter-otter14: John Mulaney was accidentally made immortal in the early 20th century by a witch named Petunia who later turned herself into a dog by accident and John takes it upon himself to care for her to his annoyance because she promised him she’d
star wars characters as john mulaney quotes
phoenixshrew: deadlydoodles: ryrosryhoe: jackironsides: pleaseexorciseme: John Mulaney, a man who is iconically known for loving his wife, after being told by Jerry Seinfeld that his wife only thinks shes good at something Well done OP, you’ve
thatgirlwithfeels: randomthingsthatilike123: wintersoldierfell: cryptiboy: jukebox-head: bonepoem: ryrosryhoe: jackironsides: pleaseexorciseme: John Mulaney, a man who is iconically known for loving his wife, after being told by Jerry Seinfeld
jellyfishdirigible: mckitterick: sweaterkittensahoy: bogleech: asafruca: yelnatszeroni: frogmp3: buckakke: john mulaney talking about how much he loves his wife and roasting other male comedians that just talk shit on their wives is why The Gays
fmanime: fmanime: i think edward elric entire military experience can be summarized as john mulaney’s “horse loose in the hospital” bit there is a CHILD ALCHEMIST LOOSE IN THE STATE MILITARY! NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE CHILD IS GOING TO DO, LEAST
prose-and-peonies: probablybard: modern greek mythology adaptation where hades and persephone are played by john mulaney and his wife She’s hades, he’s Persephone
minervafloofderg: mcgonagollygee: tired interpretation: complaining about your wife being opinionated wired interpretation: bragging about how smart your wife is Jerry Seinfeld vs John Mulaney death battle
johnedmulaney: half-ace: concept: one of those “live, laugh, love” wall hangings, except it’s john mulaney’s “Eat ass, suck a dick, sell drugs.” finally finished it and I’m gonna hang it on my door so people know what’s up
seldnei:Thank god for John Mulaney, because “That’s exactly what I thought you’d say, you dumb fucking horse” is incredibly satisfying to hiss at the news.
ahobbitinhogwarts: movingtomarzipan: john mulaney and linda from bobs burgers have the same aura Linda, drunk off her head: my husband is a bitch i like him SO MUCH
elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey: John Mulaney is the only bitch I respect on this earth
gaudfish-naudsm: masochist-incarnate: im-so-emo-i-fell-apart: radha-the-introvert: theinfiknight: the-spooky-john-mulaney: obnoxiously-phan: samhainchester: piginapoke: janecrocker: deanassbutts: sugar-velvet: wtf-jacks: MIDDLE FINGERS UPIF
the-swift-tricker: Now obviously John Mulaney has had a profound affect on all our lives, but without a doubt to me one of the most impactful things he has ever said was: “Whatever. This might as well happen. Adult life is already so goddamn weird.”
olivaster: windyvalleyzone: sammysausage: meme-team-risk-analyst: canadianstuck: One of the funniest things I ever experienced was when I went to go see John Mulaney live, and halfway through a bit about how expensive college in the States is, he
laynestaleyinchains: starsappho: iamabadspeller:Princess Diana, John Mulaney is coming. Oh my god she has airpods in. She cant hear us. Oh my god Try explaining this to someone who’s never been on this website I use this website and I have no idea
nyamafriend: isolemnlyswear-iamsuperwholocked: an-anxious-gay-mess: sympathetic-deceit-trash: taylormademediocrity: spacetaters: ok but can we like start a petition for Cards Against Humanity to make a John Mulaney themed pack because i would be
sullivantwissarcana: the-knight-of-wren: tgi-spideys: Caught in a ham This was spectacular John Mulaney is PERFECT for voicing cartoon characters! He did a great job in this.
the-swift-tricker:Now obviously John Mulaney has had a profound affect on all our lives, but without a doubt to me one of the most impactful things he has ever said was: “Whatever. This might as well happen. Adult life is already so goddamn weird.”
jackrhap: the real reason john mulaney hasn’t had a kid is because he knows it would have too much power
squigglywibbly: funky-art-cactus: cute-necromancing-misanthrope: cute-necromancing-misanthrope: I FOUND A PICTURE OF JOHN MULANEY IN COLLEGE AND??????? I CAN NOT BELIEVE THIS MAN DID COCAINE HE LOOKS LIKE A LITERAL CHILD??????????
