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“Fuck me! I won a BAFTA!”
“Can you please not do that thing where you turn your coat collar up to try and look cool? It makes it difficult for me to give you a hickey.”
“I want to give you head. And I’m not talking about the one in the fridge.”
“I don’t have to use my imagination to know that you’d be the last thing I thought of before I died.”
“Leave the wall alone. If you’re bored, I’ll gladly take a pounding from you.”
“I’d like to get a double room in Dartmoor with you.”
“I would drink your coffee even if the sugar was drugged.”
“My dick is so huge, my doggy style is referred to as Baskerville Hound style.”
“So, you’ve got a boyfriend then? I’ll have you either way. It’s all fine.”
“I’ll be the knife and you be the Cluedo board: Let me pin you against the wall.”
“Do I want to see some more of you? Oh, God yes.”
“I would chase you all over London even if my limp wasn’t psychosomatic.”
“I would take your hand even if we weren’t handcuffed fugitives.”
“Shall we play doctor? Army doctor, that is.”
“Oh, so the Internet thinks you look like an otter? Well, I think you otter be in my bed.”
“How about you get off of that phone and let me show you how much fun we can have in the back seat of this car?”
“I would ‘coordinate’ with you and a pair of handcuffs in a dark alley anytime.”
“I’d wait for you even if you kept me as long as Mofftiss kept the Sherlockians.”
“I want to express my love for you in every possible variant available to the English language.”
“Mrs. Hudson, are you trying to seduce me?”
“I love you more than John Watson loves jumpers.” Submitted by rightinthefangirl.
“Let me be your Action Man. Your brother won’t be able to break me.”
“You know, I’ve got a phone. I mean, very clever and all that, but you could just booty call me. On my phone.”
“I would never chase some killer while trying to get off with you.”
“Of course we won’t be needing two bedrooms.”
“I wish Mike Stamford would introduce us.”
“I would come to your flat even if I was on the other side of town and it could be dangerous.”
“Sometimes you don’t talk for days on end? That’s fine. I can give you something else to do with your mouth.”
“I’d love to get under your sheets. Especially if you were still wearing them.”
“I was Wats-off, but then you turned me Wats-on.”
“I enjoy my jumper collection, but I’d much rather have you on my body instead.”
“I named our dog Gladstone because you make me happy and hard.”
“I love you more than John loves jam.” Submitted by xhowisharveywallbangeronewordx.
“I noticed you’re wearing a deerstalker. May I be your dear?”
“Don’t worry if I shout ‘Damn my leg!’ My third leg is still perfectly functional.”
“I’d let Angelo put a candle on our table.”
“I like your purple shirt. How’d you like to see my red pants?” (Thank you so much to andrisbiedrins for sending the screencap. I couldn’t find any images of Martin Freeman wearing red bottoms except as Arthur Dent, and apparently
“I’d let you hold my hand even if you kidnapped me and asked me to spy on my flatmate.”
“Would you still love me even if I turned into an Asian woman?”
“You steeple your fingers a lot. I could give you something better to do with them.”
“I’m not haunted by your penis. I miss it.”
“I can’t have U.M.Q.R.A. without U.”
“You are the grape of my eye. Apples are boring.” Submitted by bandofbaskets.
“You grew on me like Harold.”
“I don’t need an essay about all my friends hating me to know that you love me the most.”
“I would shave for you.”
“I would love you even if your initials were A.G.R.A.”
“Forget the H– let’s talk about the D.”
“The ‘elephant in the room’ is my penis.”
“I don’t care how you fell in love with me… I want to know why.”
“I want to do you on the table… On the Periodic Table hanging in your bedroom, that is.”
“My love for you exceeds the amount of laptops Sherlock has.”
“An east wind isn’t the only thing that’s coming.”
Wedding versus stag night. (These aren’t based on number of notes or anything– this is just your admin having fun.)
“Sherlock can survive without food easier than I can survive without you.â€
“I’m more attracted to you than John is to dangerous situations and people.â€
“When you’re away, I miss you more than John misses the battlefield.â€
“You’re fancier than the restaurant John tried to propose to Mary in.â€
“On your knees, Professor… Don’t worry, I have something much better than kicking you over the Reichenbach Falls planned.â€
The tale of a boy, his very special umbrella, and a few jealous people.
