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“I have five children.” Okay, so this one’s actually a bit of an inside joke… My ex-boyfriend, (whom I am no longer on speaking terms with), has a daughter now, and he’s been persistently trying to inform me of this fact.
meatluvvr: Happy Holidays from my Family to Yours As I sit here in my trophy room, surrounded by my wife Stephy, and the five ex-wives that came before her, I am filled with a keen appreciation for the past and a deep sense of optimism for the new year.
astareis:so after three years on this blog and five years generally on tumblr, this blog already got 850 followers. and since i’m so excited and happy to see that, i just felt the need to take this opportunity to show you guys how grateful i am.
Tiffany in the afternoon sun. ————– I am offering this images as a limited edition of five 8"x12" prints for โ each. All prints signed by Tiffany and me. Email me at studio@markvelasquez. These won’t last
melindasordinos: “On an exceptionally obvious note, [Twilight]’s opened a lot of doors, but I’ve become who I am because of that. It was five years of my life.“ Kristen Stewart attends “Camp X-Ray” premiere in NYC, oct. 6, 2014
nudeandnaughtyflashing: Lily Jordan flashing at Five Guys Burgers and Fries. I am sure if any worker saw it would have made their day
bechnokid: Markiplier recently beat Five Nights at Freddy’s at the highest difficulty level (20/20/20/20) and oh my god, I am so happy for him. ;w;
wetmessboy: I went for a five minute walk like that. I passed many people but I don’t think anybody saw me :) I love that feeling! I haven’t told anybody about my fetish and it is so nice that I can finily share it here! I am into girls, but anyone
amorningcupofjo: fuzzyfreaks: I never even saw any monsters in this game, I spent five minutes hiding in a cupboard after a door blew open by itself and then switched it off. I am the biggest coward. HAHAHA <3 My brother and I decided to turn
bunnybo: After push out five babies for Master, I am still His favorite breeding bunny
rouge-chevre: Oh jesus ive been high for five minutes and i am creepy. Hah i wonder what people think of me when they see me dancing on the dancefloor ‘wtf’ whatever Crazy girl….
c00tiebreath: i know its five am but im going to go make a sandwich
ringandanklet: Here I am in Vegas last summer on a “business trip.” These are two of the five cocks that had their way with me that weekend. These guys DVP’d me before taking turns in my ass and cumming on my face. In this video you’ll see
Crossfox and anonymous go on a date~
gothiccharmschool: All Five Monsters Cereals Will Be Brought Back For Halloween winneganfake: laughingsquid: All Five Monsters Cereals Will Be Brought Back For Halloween CUE VELOCIRAPTOR SCREAM OF DELIGHT AND GLEE. This Halloween season, I am eating
FIVE AM
synesthetika:beingabimbo:synesthetika:Five questions for fuckdollsAsk yourself the following questions every day:Do I look, act and sound desperate?Do I look, act and sound brainless?Do I look, act and sound like porn? Am I getting enough attention?Am
oneiriad:thesaltofcarthage:rongzhi:English added by me :)meanwhile, the cat is like “I am living my best life right now, I am coming back as a cat in a Buddhist monastery at least four or five more times”This is the start of a story, where the tiny
PSA: If you want more than one thread with me, I am fine with that. If you want more than five threads with me? I am also fine with that. Don't worry about how many threads we have, I will love each and every one.
the-korova:I am so glad that the word blorbos exists now. It’s so much more evocative and accurate than “comfort character”. Like, they’re different things. He doesn’t bring me comfort, he makes my hands itchy and I want to polish him with
My five stages of Kylo Ren fangirling acceptence
fedconnect:Five Hot Jobs in a Post-Federation Galaxy I am sure I am not the only one interested in the sauce vault. I have the feeling their may be some lost treasures of 1998 lurking in there.
queerpotters: #you know this some real shit cause if you’re in the rain for like five minutes in jane austen you get all sick #and have to be ‘bedridden’ and ‘fussed over’ #so he went out after her in the regency equivalent of a shootout
Fifth anniversary sketch for Vincere and I I am so thankful for what we share between us every day of our lives together. If there is nothing else that I am sure of I will still see our future clearly and look on our time together with adoration. To five
aggybird: ‘hi i haven’t talked to you in five weeks but we’re still best friends’: a story about me and human interaction.
five-am-pancakes: frostkieran: trixter-jake-english: tealmaple: hellotailor: 3liza: gaythoven: tyleroakley: Heidi Klum as her older self for Halloween 2013 And yet most film studios can’t convincingly age actors even a few years. Get it together,
kowabungadoodles:Tumblr is just a nice little place where you can take off your ‘real person’ face and roll around in piles of garbage tailored to your unhinged hyperfocus five minutes before you stand up and go back to your zoom meeting
Five AM, out again. Triangle walks
adorkableblackberry: itslaroneppl: chiefsimba: I am absolutely finished Man, I couldn’t even get past the five five seconds 😂
To be honest, I totally become five when I see bubbles floating around in my vicinity. It does not matter who is there or what I am doing. I am running through them twirling! Sorry…not sorry! *blushies*
aobabe:i feel personally attacked over the fact that there are no more iwaoi fisting fics i am also offended that the one iwaoi fisting fic on ao3 didn’t get a sequel regarding kurotsuki winning the competition and the events that led up to it
hannahs-voice: I was using this flashlight and I realized how fucking perfect it would be to try and fuck it. And here I am five minutes later realizing I underestimated the size of this thing… But I’m not giving up
deanandcastrash: lollipopandbowlegs: Five times Sam had to watch Dean die in his arms FIVE FREAKING TIMES Look at how Sam’s arm wrapped Dean’s body and how hard he pressed his brother to himself. I AM NOT OKAY Actually, it was over 100. Never
scienceofsarcasm: death-list-five:xtremecaffeine: lilenatalem:adventurotica:how-clever:i-am-the-last-timelord:margauxdrake:i-am-the-last-timelord:I think I found a new favorite Twitter account.Actually, they’re against it because someone has to pay
After crying til five am worrying about my twin sisters, one of them called me today during my movie. She’s bawling but won’t tell me what’s wrong. I am convinced there is a hell now.
Haven’t seen my best friend in like five years and tonight I nearly break his foot in a stupid drunken joke. Gonna dwell on it til I die
i-am-agoodgirl: i-am-abadgirl: cruel-gentleman: Taking those five seconds to make sure is the entire difference between being a Dom and being a sad excuse for a man. This. A true Dominant will always make sure their sub/slave/pet/lg is really okay
Hey folks! I’m writing this from my phone because I am too tired to write another four pages. I have been up since five am so that puts me at around fifteen hours of having to be awake and (mostly) concious. No read more because mobile. I woke
annabethchasy:okay but five feminist women of color literally just released an album centered only on girlpower… and it’s hit #1 on itunes……why aren’t y’all talking about this
I like getting an iced carmel macchiato from Starbucks because at first it’s like carmel milk and you’re like yo where’s the coffee and then its like oH YOU WANT COFFEE HERES FIVE SHOTS OF EXPRESSO HAHAHA SUFFER.
Wow i spent like 2 days psyching myself up to go out tonight and managed to talk myself out of it in the space of five minutes. I guess i’ll be in with cheese on toast and Friends tonight then.
99: Five items you’d grab in a fire.
Just for the record if I cum quick I am not apologizing. I am giving you a big ol' high five and we're goin' again!!!
itslaroneppl: chiefsimba: I am absolutely finished Man, I couldn’t even get past the five five seconds Goals. sft425 ricefingers @🐷🐇💕
I AM THE WEIRDEST MOTHER FUCKER WHAT THE HELL
subblackgurl: ebony-elite: TWO THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED FOLLOWERS!My thanks to each and every one of you. This blog is a personal statement of my fantasies and also for me trying to discover who i really am; I am amazed so many are interested enough to
bisexualmistress: owned-sluttycunt-eight: i-am-mistress-helen: Time to test and break in the new recruits…one at a time!@i-am-mistress-helen @bisexualmistress @owned-sluttycunt-ten @owned-sluttycunt-four @owned-sluttycunt-three @owned-sluttycunt-five
kneeccaps: me: I Am Not Going To Pick Ever Again, Starting Now me: *five minutes later, with blood pouring down my hand* I Am Not Going To P
alan-ashbys-hair: peachofcake: if i ever get married i am gonna be too embarrassed to kiss my husband in front of everyone, especially my parents, so we will probably just high five or something “You may now high five the bride”
weetaeil: Me: takes a shower and washes face Me: I am a new being, the old me has left this realm and I am cleansed, ready to begin a new era of self Me: walks into my landfill room where five bags of open Doritos lay scattered about my bed. A rat
I am afraid
wlwvoltron: pidge: lance is the worst haha someone: yeah he’s annoying pidge: wHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?? MEET ME IN THE PIT YOU BITCH AND BE PREPARED TO SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR KNEES. I AM FIVE FEET OF ASS-KICKING AND YOU’RE ABOUT TO EXPERIENCE
five-secondsofdrummer:‘Every time Ashton plays drums I am blown away with how fucking great he is 😳’ 5sos-official
to the loud construction workers outside: WILL YOU KEEP IT DOWN I AM TRYING TO USE THE COMPUTER
tbh i cant even be bothered to worry abt posting too much otp anymore bc to every mono doodle that i post, there are five bb/wr draws posted by multiple other artists so,-poses--lifts leg--flips hair-keep on keepin on
![melindasordinos: “On an exceptionally obvious note, [Twilight]’s opened a lot of doors, but I’ve become who I am because of that. It was five years of my life.“ Kristen Stewart attends “Camp X-Ray” premiere in NYC, oct. 6, 2014](https://69.media.tumblr.com/5cb5513990db4a41612f0b96a1828674/tumblr_nd3gxo7aVs1rojgemo2_r1_250.gif)
