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sourwife: — i looked at him like he was the sun, he looked at me like i was of the stars // k.m.

fuckhotbieber: Justin on President Obama: - He was like.. ughm.. “Well, hello..” and he was like, he was like, “My daughter Sasha.. Malia, my wife Michelle.. We are so gratefull that you’re coming to the White House”

milktealimesoda: …and Niel was like / i had enough of this sh*t from ljoe /

littlemammal: at work last week i was ringing up this guys order and when he signed i was trying to read his signature and i was like “is your last name Duck?” and he got really nervous and he was like “oh nobodys ever uhh noticed before…. i

gainer fiction be like

altairchan: my proudest moment was when i was like 4 and I was being babysat by our family friend’s son who was visiting and he saw me drawing randall form monsters inc and he was like oh can i have this i’ll hang it in my office! and i was like

littlemammal: at work last week i was ringing up this guys order and when he signed i was trying to read his signature and i was like “is your last name Duck?” and he got really nervous and he was like “oh nobodys ever uhh noticed before…. i

gottaloadedgodcomplex: It’s times like this that everyone should be reminded that:the XKit Guy is in collegehe’s only in his early 20she makes no money from XKithe’s the best thing to ever happen to any of usSo. All in all, if you’ve got extra

daftlypunk: i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the

fleshdroid: I was signing up for amnesty society and the guy at the stall was like ‘are you from England?’ so I said ‘yeah’ and he was like ‘wow that must be so cool’ so I was just kinda like ‘um it’s okay’ and he looked like he had

i had to fire someone today, and real shit, I gotta start doing this shit more often. i feel like a giant among men right now.

he's lying to u girl

littlemammal: at work last week i was ringing up this guys order and when he signed i was trying to read his signature and i was like “is your last name Duck?” and he got really nervous and he was like “oh nobodys ever uhh noticed before…. i

daftlypunk: i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the

littlemammal: at work last week i was ringing up this guys order and when he signed i was trying to read his signature and i was like “is your last name Duck?” and he got really nervous and he was like “oh nobodys ever uhh noticed before…. i

dance-like-a-tree: WHAT IF STEVEN CAME INTO THE ROOM HALLOWEEN DAY WITH LIKE FAKE BLOOD ALL OVER HIM AND ONE OF THOSE FAKE AXES IN HIS BACK OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND HE’S LIKE “GUYS LOOK” AND PEARL LOOKS OVER AND JUST HAS A FRICKIN HEART ATTACK

frrankiix: infinitelimit: oraldiarrhea: secretsbest: 8 month old baby hearing his mother’s voice for the first time with cochlear implant This is the most beautiful thing ever. thank you science THE BINKY JUST……. DROPPED HE WAS JUST MINDING

jojostuck: “No homo,” I whisper tearfully, cradling the dead body of the last homosexual on earth. there is no more homo. the last of his kind, and he was murdered. i will get revenge. the hunt is on.

moonblossom: jackiemakescomics: whitachi: vintar: I showed the Hawkeye Initiative to my dude ten minutes later I turned around and he was doing this quality dude excellent dude I will hold this dude up as an example for all other dudes to follow

falling-deeperinlove: livelaughlovedforgotten: dontgetmade: He went to Steak n Shake with his wife every year for valentine’s day since before he was married. This is his first year without a valentine. there goes my heart… Tears inside me.

targayen: IN MIDDLE SCHOOL THERE WAS THIS GUY AND ONE DAY HE WORE SWEATPANTS AND ONE OF THE DEANS SAW THE PHONE IN HIS POCKET AND WAS LIKE “YOU CANT HAVE PHONE DURING SCHOOL YOU HAVE TO GIVE IT TO ME FOR THE REST OF THE CLASS PERIOD” BUT IT WASNT

malachidavenport: Who? They’re idiots. You’re perfect just how you are now. I still think there has to be at least one person that isn’t new and that didn’t notice my absence! I went pretty much everywhere. It was like a day or two in

mfasis: Watchin him Milly Rock to Adele’s song hello brought tears to my eyes😭✊🔥🔥👋👋👍👀 he should perform on Broadway or at halftime at da Superbowl. this was powerful He lookin like a praise dancer in church 😂😂

daftlypunk: i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the

organmeat: daftlypunk: i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered

i ordered pizza last night and when it came the delivery boy was intently looking past me at something and i was like ??? and after he gave me my order he was like “I-I like your avatar posters” and i was like OH YOU WERE LOOKING AT THAT lmao *cough*

there’s a ram dressed as a clown in my animal crossing and its triggering me

daftlypunk: i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the

littlemammal: at work last week i was ringing up this guys order and when he signed i was trying to read his signature and i was like “is your last name Duck?” and he got really nervous and he was like “oh nobodys ever uhh noticed before…. i

iswearimnotnaked: iswearimnotnaked: i was working w this guy last week and he was like “hey try my coffee” and i was hesitant but he was like “i don’t have any germs” and he’s kinda cute so i was like w/e it’s just a coffee and turns out

daftlypunk: i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the

trans-reaper: reaper was prescribed a back brace 4 his chronic pain but he was like nah i gotta make this look cool so he completely redesigned it to look like a spine hes got a motion control knee braces as well and he was like well u kno what lets

daftlypunk: i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the

mariethephangirl: howellxlester: jarring: love actually (2003) - the maze runner (2014) #HE WAS 13 IN LOVE ACTUALLY IM GONNA SCREAM#HE LOOKS ABOUT 5 do you mean to tell me that the toddler in the top gif is 13 years old what the fuck

He was like a beast in heat as he pinned her arms behind her back with one hand and took her throat in a tight grip with the other. Laurie arched her back further, slamming her ass back into his every thrust. Her eyes squeezed shut and face frozen with

daftlypunk: i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the

organmeat: daftlypunk: i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered

sweets808:So last week I was at work and my co worker we always flirt then he was like when we going do it so I’m like do what and he said when can I get some action lol I was like umm idk but this was on weds and that Friday when we was getting off

cum-faerie: weedwomenandwhips: cum-faerie: littlemegh: cum-faerie: people like this make me ill Bruhh 😂 straight on blast what? He’s right tho , but I love yall I beg your pardon? Shoulda clarified, he was right about the fucking for money

altairchan: my proudest moment was when i was like 4 and I was being babysat by our family friend’s son who was visiting and he saw me drawing randall from monsters inc and he was like oh can i have this i’ll hang it in my office! and i was like

beyoncebeytwice: a few days ago this kid promised he’d let me see his english homework today and when i asked him about it he was like oh wait i dont have it and i was like “wow you really let me down im heartbroken” and he was like “oh are you

daftlypunk: i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the

daftlypunk: i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the

daftlypunk: i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the

daftlypunk: i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the

daftlypunk: i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the

He was like “wait for it…….you dumb bitch thats what you get for making me eat them peas” lmao

daftlypunk: i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the

daftlypunk: i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the

daftlypunk: i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the

daftlypunk: i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the

tonight darfin was like “im not open or good with feelings but I do need you more than you’ll ever know” and thats the sweetest thing he has ever said

I remember once this roofing guy came to my door and was like bleh bleh I’ll fix your roof and I was like no and then he started flirting with me and said he was doing the neighbours house tomorrow and what coffee did I drink cause he is gonna bring

my old best friend sent me this at 3 am today, soo sweet

cummbunny: I was a secret agent but he kept ruining it

also I’m in love and he makes me cum so hard and sometimes he looks at me during sex and there’s this power where I feel like he’s staring into me and I’m so hungry for him but I’m so happy and overcome with how much I love him so I just grab

andrewquo: I was talking to my bisexual friend and he was telling me about the first time he had sex with another guy and I was like “idk man it just sounds pretty gay” and he was like “dude it was VERY gay”

organmeat: daftlypunk: i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered

I’m sick you know & have been blowing my nose a lot… You get the point. So I’m laying in bed & one of my guy friends come running upstairs with toilet paper… Here’s me laying in bed with the biggest smile on my

My regular doctor wasn’t there today so I had to get adjusted by a man. He was really cute but damn now my neck is so sore. 😒 this is why I need my gentle lady chiropractor.

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