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wifeyknowsbest: whatapreciouslittlefuckfox: A sense of humor can make everything better. Sex isn’t like it is in the movies or in porn. There will be strange and weird and awkward sounds, there might be a silly interruption like the cat or a kid…

You failed me U.S. you failed me… in a country where everything is guns, guns this, guns that, guns in schools and all that, where kids nowadays choose between Call of Duty or Battlefront, or even fucking Payday 2, this happens… what? did

Being an adult doesn’t mean you know what you’re doing with your life but it does mean that you can eat fruit loops at 3:30 in the morning and nobody can stop you.

cluegrrl:peelingmandarins:“After thirty years of intensive research, we can now answer many of the questions posed earlier. The recycle rate of a human being is around sixteen hours. After sixteen hours of being awake, the brain begins to fail. Humans

breakneckmindheist:ultra-unicornzombie:“Imagine this: you’re peaking. You’re in your youth. At the prime of your life. The last thing you want to be is a symbol for heroin use. You’ve finally met someone of the opposite sex you can finally write

osointricate: Apparently some people can have a thought like “I need to do this” and then they actually have no problem getting up and doing it. What a weird way to live, how strange, wonder what that would be like.

naamahdarling: naamahdarling: prokopetz: prokopetz: If you’re unsure how to pet a cat (i.e., maybe you didn’t have cats around growing up), it can be helpful to bear in mind that petting is a grooming activity. Grooming each other is how cats

marauders4evr: marauders4evr: kramergate: kramergate: hey here’s something I learned only today despite being a lifelong Harry Potter reader Hagrid is 12 fucking feet tall people are having a laugh at me for not knowing this but can you blame me?

charlie-thealmightypeacock: been fucking around w meme templates trying to make some sweet relatable add content but forgot i was in the middle of one and then i came back to whatever idea i had, it can’t be better than this

sodomymcscurvylegs: Gay porn blog commentary is so ugly and next level, and that’s why I can’t be bothered to read it. Every time I find some shit like: “I waited for daddy with my bussy gaping so he could fuck me after he fucked my mother!”

yuuris: Yuri!!! on Ice #03 » I Am Eros, and Eros Is Me?! Face-Off!! Hot Springs On Ice No one in the world knows your true eros, Yuri. It may be an alluring side of you that you yourself are unaware of. Can you show me what it is soon?

littlemissdrippy:This is how I have felt this week. Doesn’t make for a very sexy little girl, but sometimes it just can’t be helped. 😢

batreaux: “Don’t get me wrong, I love my son, and both Mark and I were thrilled about his early cognitive development, but it can sometimes be overwhelming when our infant is screaming things like, “Soda! There must be soda! Soda for me, the boy!

owlturdcomix: You can’t trick me, nature. [imgur] Owl Turd Comix by Shenanigansen [website | twitter | facebook]

I can’t believe I just got bee movie’d

thepromptperson: Prompt 38:“Clones, why clones? Why can you be normal for one day?”“I’ve tried that before, wasn’t fun. And if it means anything I didn’t actually mean for my clones to become evil and want to destroy me.”

nevaehtyler: So um, let me get it straight - it is absolutely fine for white people to dress up as Native Americans, Egyptians, Geishas or do Black face for Halloween, but Santa can’t be Black? No, this is not how it works. “But Real Santa is white!”

iwouldsellmysisterssoulfor1d: SOMEONE TEXTED ME WITH THE WRONG NUMBER AND I PLAYED ALONG I’M GOING TO HELL I KNOW IT

chenisthebestkitty: leikotanaka: this drama is too real I can relate to this way better than I should be able to

cuddlingthecthulhu: I. I’ve been seeing a lot of adorable human!zen things lately and i guess i just. Wanted to give it a go??? ;v;Genji might be a ninja but man if he can’t be smooth with Zenyatta to save his life.

calorescence: DID YOU KNOW? The inside covers of the Japanese graphic novels have text on them. It’s basically the same image for all of the novels, so this isn’t actually a spoiler. The text turns out to be upside-down nigh-illegible katakana, but

spacevinci: somethingratchet: sheisraging: Cindy: Hey… can I be a Jew? Rabbi: No. Cindy: Can I be a Jew? Rabbi: No. Cindy: Can I be a Jew? Rabbi: You really want this? Sincerely? Not ‘cause this one’s trying to blackmail me for something

supportthis: Just a set of pictures to boost Support morale~ We all need it sometimes, support being a toxic role & all. Remember, a good support can make a game! Own your role. :3

I’m having this mighty headache and My mom’s friends are so loud and my sister Friend just came in being even louder my this headache is getting worse

cryopearl:Aaaaaaaahhhhhh thank you! These messages of encouragement are keeping me sane. I’m so glad everyone is as excited about this as I am! I promise, I’ll keep my word, and every one of you will NOT be disappointed (I hope.)

thedoghouse09: Came home to this little, girl cheering me, on for finishing my work week! Can this Daddy be any luckier?? @iamapaperuniverse “I’m your private cheerleader, cheerlead for money, do what you want me to do”

i’m sure the next year or so of my life will be very good for my restlessness with all the changes coming about, but I can’t help wanting years to go by, in a bit of a blur

12.22.2016 I just can’t shake the feeling of wanting to skip over the next few years. I guess it’s just the hope of feeling less heavy, being where I want to be, and not feeling stuck when I inevitably will be for the time being.

likeafieldmouse: Daniel Gray and Kathleen Starrie - An igloo constructed out of milk cartons filled with colored water and frozen Can someone please do this with me I would be forever pleasedd

twiliya: I can’t be the only one who did this

thesylverlining: hot-topic-trash-baby: I want to be spoiled but I also feel extremely guilty when people use money on me seriously. I alternate between “I want to be showered in diamonds because I deserve it” and “noOO OH MY GOD I CAN’T LET

bad thing about internet friends or long distance friends is that you can’t hug them or just be with them when they feel down

If you be my star I'll be your sky ☪

onlyblackgirl: theprettygoodgatsby: piffsburg: Females: I want equal rights. Females: You can’t hit me I’m a female. Females: I want equal rights and i don’t want you to hit me because I am a human being and I don’t like being hit What is

immakeepitflossypoppin: Can this be me please?

mcqueen2reckless: Can this be me now?

ourabbiethings: Can this be me now please? yes? ok good, thanks :)

fvming: I don’t understand how you can be tired but unable to fucking sleep

"Can you take me on a date?!"

missmarlee1995: OMG…..can this be me?

deirdara: can we please stop treating high school drop outs like they’re the scum of the earth that’ll never amount to anything?? because it’s fucking tiring and rude and gross. it’s not the end of the world and school is not for everyone

highuponsex: Can this be me?

copequinn: people who are gay can be assholes people with eating disorders can be assholes people with mental disorders can be assholes people who self harm can be assholes people who are disabled can be assholes people who have diseases can be assholes

lesbiaci: can this be me

Who agrees with me that Yuuri looks insanely attractive when he does the megane thing, c’mon I can’t be the only one

datcarblog: carbonking: (via TumbleOn) Can this be me and my future wife?

cairistiona7: The McDonald’s french fry is unbelievable. When you bite into it, you think: It’s so tasty, it can’t be real. As soon as it gets cold, it turns to lard and flubble. I mean, have you ever tried to eat a McDonald’s french fry that’s

Please can this be me

rubbbernipples:can this be me 😋😻

this-chick-digs-chicks: Ohhh… Can that be me please? I’ll be a good girl and be silent while you talk to your lady friends 😁🐶

daizylemonade: can this be me and all my clothes

pnut-butter: a-littleminx:ode to butt pt. 2 Woah can this be me

goldenfishradicals: CAN THIS BE ME

MondayToday is just I don’t know. Dysphoria is having a hard grip around my neck and I just want to disappear. Be gone. It sickens me so much feeling like this. Sometimes it amazes me how bad I can feel for not having a uterus and actually be a

averagefairy: *eats a salad one time* i am honestly the most pure being on this earth i can feel the toxins escaping my body right in this moment. health is a lifestyle

f-launt: distraction: can this be me one day i thought u had a gf

satsunon: THERE’S A POINT WHERE IT TIPS THERE’S A POINT WHERE IT BREAKS THERE’S A POINT WHERE YOU JUST CAN’T TAKKKEEE ANYMORE

klanced: us: in a dnd au pidge would totally be a rogue or some kind of magic wielder, someone light on their feet who can deal damage and then back off, just like her fighting style-pidge:

ladyghirahim: dangeroustoast: Wax seals being sealed is a fascinating experience Now THIS is something I can’t get behind

mon-qi: Accepting help and appreciating friendly gestures can be difficult, but things are improving! So does Jasper really have a sore throat? Does she actually enjoy honey? or even tea?? Or just giant tea mugs??? We might never know. So here’s my

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