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best-shower-thoughts: Every Disaster Movie has that scientific professional that could have made the conflict easier, but nobody listened to, which teaches us that Anti-Intellectualism is the real cause of disaster. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: If you’re under the age of 40 the oldest person on earth has slept longer than you’ve been alive (source)
best-shower-thoughts:You never know how drunk you are, until you stand up. You never know how high you are, until you sit down. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: If Horton heard a Who, and Cindy Lou is a Who, then the Grinch is super tiny (source)
best-shower-thoughts: Considering how prestigious it was, Hogwarts was pretty bad at background checks for teachers (source)
best-shower-thoughts: Computer people generally aren’t the superstitious type, but you’ll be hard-pressed to find one who only clicks “save” once (source)
best-shower-thoughts: Going to bed 20 minutes early seems pointless, but snoozing your alarm 5 minutes feels amazing. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: Halloween must be a confusing time for spiders,we destroy their homes just to put up fake versions of them as decorations. (source)
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best-shower-thoughts: Licking is one of the most versatile interactions you can have with another person. Depending in your timing, it can be cute, funny, sexy, sensual, creepy, disgusting, weird or even fucking terrifying. / cr
best-shower-thoughts: An assassin is really just a serial killer who takes requests. / cr
best-shower-thoughts: If a dentist makes money off people with bad teeth. Then why would I buy toothpaste that 4 out of 5 dentist recommend? / cr
best-shower-thoughts: I woke up saying “good morning world”. Then I got high and realized it’s night time all the time on one side of the world. / cr
best-shower-thoughts: When two people kiss they create one long tube from butthole to butthole. / cr
best-shower-thoughts: Instead of thumbs up and thumbs down, pornhub should have erect and limp. / cr
best-shower-thoughts: We use sex to sell everything. We arrest those who buy and sell actual sex. / cr
best-shower-thoughts: If humans ever become enslaved by Artificial intelligence the Amish are going to be so pissed. / cr
best-shower-thoughts: Fake alcoholics brag about how much they drank. Real alcoholics lie so they can drink more. / cr
best-shower-thoughts: It must have taken a long time to realise that color blindness existed. / cr
best-shower-thoughts: It’s gonna be really weird in 30 years seeing old grandpa’s and grandma’s type at blazing speeds / cr
best-shower-thoughts: If you choose not to have kids, you’re literally breaking a family tradition that goes back millions of years. / cr
best-shower-thoughts: Going to church is a huge book club meeting. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: When girls say “Listen, bitch” to another girl they’re likely friends, when they say “Listen, sweetie” they are definitely not friends. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: Don’t use the bathroom in your dream. It’s a trap. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: The Ninja Turtles literally have no reason to wear masks. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: Hot Pockets always seem to have cold pockets. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: Hosting the Olympics to improve your city is like having a baby to improve your marriage. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: Waking up from a nightmare is your brain’s way of saying, “it’s just a prank, bro”. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: Ms. Frizzle had to have taught at a private school. There’s no way she’d have been able to get away with teaching a class of 8 and going on field trips every week in the public school system. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: It would have really sucked to be the first person to discover dogs can’t eat chocolate. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: A lot of ghost hunters get so caught up in the tracking part of the hunt that they totally neglect the other stuff – the kill, the recovery, field dressing the ghost, gutting the ghost, skinning the ghost, etc. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: Under-sleeping is the equivalent of turning up the difficulty level every morning. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: The stakes are higher if you bet your friend 20$ than if you bet them a million. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: When you’re on the Mount Everest literally everything is downhill from there. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: A person came out of a person because a person came inside a person. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: Anybody under the age of 30 probably thinks George Foreman was a celebrity chef. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: A capital “G” is just a bent arrow (source)
best-shower-thoughts: If you give a man a fish, he will be confused and suspicious. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: Doritos are marketed towards gamers along with Mountain Dew, but it is the worst snack for gamers. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: Water balloons that don’t break are considered broken. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: Pilots are always taking business trips. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: Keeping a journal is like having an external hard drive for your own memories. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: Fat acceptance is today’s smoking propaganda of the 1930s-50s. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: You’re trusted to be able to make the decision that you can die for your country at 18, but it will take another 3 years before you’re trusted to make the decision to buy a beer. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: When shaggy and scooby run from a monster in terror, they always run side-by-side and if great danes can run 30-40mph that makes shaggy the fastest person alive beating Usain Bolt at 27mph. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: Gay guys take “bros before hoes” the most seriously. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: If vampires are real they must hold the cure for AIDS. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: When people brokenly speak a second language they sound less intelligent but are actually more knowledgeable than most for being able to speak a second language at all. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: When you‘re arrested, you‘re just getting legally kidnapped (source)
best-shower-thoughts: Blue jeans go with everything yet blue pants don’t (source)
best-shower-thoughts: Star-Lord from the Guardians of the Galaxy movies probably still thinks Santa is real. He was taken from Earth as a kid and then raised in space around aliens and crazy creatures the rest of his life. He probably assumes Santa is
best-shower-thoughts: Teenagers usually stress about high school, thinking it’s the be all and end all, yet you hardly hear about high school life from successful people (source)
best-shower-thoughts: Besides a gun, a camera is an object that illicits the most drastic change in behavior when pointed at someone. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: If there’s a drug that cures human cancer but not mouse cancer, we will never find it. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: The first humans sent on a voyage to another solar system might be greeted by humans who were sent later using faster space ships. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: When Thanos snapped someone was probably doing a disappearing magic trick and it worked (source)
best-shower-thoughts: Task Manager crashing is the equivalent of a fire extinguisher catching fire. (source)
best-shower-thoughts: Times square is just a city street without adblock (source)
best-shower-thoughts: Bruises seem a lot scarier when you realise they are a form of internal bleeding (source)
