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“Okay Dad, I’ve shown you my breast, now get out of my room already!â€â€œCome on sweetie, be nice to you ol’ father. Show me some more.â€â€œOMG Dad! You are such a perv!â€â€œHa ha I know. I’ll tell you what: take off your panties and let me
“Dad? What are you doing? You can’t just come into my room like that. I was getting changed.”“I can see that honey, but I’m your father. I can do what I want. Come on, keep going. Take off your panties.”“Daddy…?”“It’s just you
“Dad, you’ve celebrated with your brothers a bit too much today. Come on, it’s late, you’re drunk, let me drive.”“Mmmmm maybe later babygirl, but I don’t want to go home to your Mom right now..’“Oh my God Daddy, what are you doing? No!
“Dad, what are you… oh my God, Daddy!”“Dad, you mustn’t do this! Dad you mwwwhwhwhw.”“Dad, this is so wrong… but… but… sit behind me Dad… oh yes… it feels nice when you touch my breasts…”“Touch
daughterlover: “Dad, what are you… oh my God, Daddy!” “Dad, you mustn’t do this! Dad you mwwwhwhwhw.” “Dad, this is so wrong… but… but… sit behind me Dad… oh yes… it feels nice when you touch my breasts…” “Touch me down there
inceztum: “Geez, Mom, are you sure this is OK?” “Relax,” she said as she popped my dick out her mouth, still slowly stroking Dad, ”this is Europe, nobody knows who the hell we are.”
daughterlover: “Hi Dad. You like what you see? I know you do. I’ve seen the way you look at me. Nobody else is home Daddy so this is all yours if you want it.” “I can perch up here for you if you like Dad. You like my tits? They are all yours.
daughterlover: “Okay Dad, I’ve shown you my breast, now get out of my room already!” “Come on sweetie, be nice to you ol’ father. Show me some more.” “OMG Dad! You are such a perv!” “Ha ha I know. I’ll tell you what: take off your
sweet-little-molested-melissa: starburstslover: daughterlover: daughterlover: “Dad, what are you… oh my God, Daddy!” “Dad, you mustn’t do this! Dad you mwwwhwhwhw.” “Dad, this is so wrong… but… but… sit behind me Dad… oh yes…
family-fun-times: “Why are you always riding my ass?!?” I screamed at my dad. “Because you lay around the house all day and don’t lift a finger to help me or your mom out,” replied my Dad. From there the two of got in each
When are you coming out to my dads?
carpentrix:My dad carves birds, wooden decoys, ducks and shorebirds. They stand on dowel legs on driftwood bases and their glass eyes look real. The birds he makes are beautiful.
GL: sherlock are you at a crime scene without authorization SH: There are yarders present, it’s perfectly fine. GL: those arent yarders theyre just wearing my dads police shit GL: tell them i want that all back btw SH: You can’t personally
My Dad says women don't like Monty Python, Reblog if you are a woman and like Monty Python.
My daughter knocked, somewhat hesitantly. “Dad? Are you in there? Mom said you wanted–”“Come in, sweetie.” As she stepped inside, I saw it was just as I feared: a full dress with a few modest transparent strips, and even a bra underneath.
You’ve seen your mom naked before. You’re one of two people who have. The other being your dad. There are thousands of other men who would have killed for the chance to see your mom naked. You know because you see them in the street looking
Dad: “Are you hungry?”Me: “Yes”Me: “But I don’t feel like eating”Dad: “But you just said you’re hungry.”Me: “But I don’t feel like eating”Me: “I feel like going on my computer.”Me: “….Well technically first spraying
rabioheab: mom, dad, these are my newborn twins. their names are mom and dad. i named them after you. what do you mean ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ aren’t your real names? what the hell? i already named these kids thanks for telling me now
momfacials: Of course, these are for you, Dad. My boobs are only for my daddy. I would never let another boy touch me, but you can use my boobies however you want, Dad!
I said good night to Mom and Dad and went upstairs to my room. I was surprised, though, to see my sister in there, her pants already off. “What are you doing? If Mom and Dad catch you in here, there’ll be hell to pay. Can’t you wait
hotgirlsht: rb this and in the tags put the signs of your parents and then the signs they gave birth to (you, your siblings)
shacklefunk: yknow theres a lot of pressure to be successful, particularly on artsy kids whose professions are seen as useless unless theyre famous, but life is fucking hard and sometimes things dont turn out but i think thats not bad. my dad has wanted
awwww-cute: Are you my new dad?
so one of my dad’s cousins is a talent agent and I finally looked him up on Google and HOLY HELL his clients are like… the leads for the Newsroom and American Horror Story.
carsonphillips: when my mom took care of babies my favorite story is about this toddler named eli who took a while to talk and everyone was concerned about it but one day my dad was like “eli, can you say ‘car’?” and he looks at my dad and goes
so my mother called with my dad on speaker phone and here are some of the greatest hits:-“Stop crying!”-“Maybe if you lived at home during the school week, you could visit on the weekends” “What about rent-” “I
bethanyactually: ticklemetuesday: Everyone likes to say that Sophie and Nate are like the mom and dad of the group, but really they’re more like the weird aunt and uncle that never got married but they’ve been living together since before you were
My mom and step-dad were at Walmart and saw a package of something called “Marvel Avengers Chibis” by the register. Knowing me well, they picked it up for me :) Holy crap you guys, these things are goddamn adorable. They’re 3 random
dirty-photos-of-my-dad: Dad teases me with his dick. You gonna wave that massive hard cock in my face but not let me touch it. Who are you even kidding you’re straight
hadoukenresident: fangirling-and-tea: fangirling-and-tea: so my dad has been making bird noises for the last hour and finally I was like dad are you trying to summon me or something like what are you doing then he goes “oh good you got my tweet”
jackwynand: daddy issues = not funny being traumatized by a father figure to the point where you can’t trust any man = not funny getting scared of men raising their voices = not funny living your whole life wondering why your dad abused you/left with
my dad basically says your early 20’s are when you’re too young for anyone to take you seriously and you’re too old for anyone to feel sorry for you and he is 100% right
youngtop4dadbottom: Dad? where are you? My nuts are heavy. It’s been 3 days since I filled you in. You need a re-fill.
tatianazmaslany: i literally just started screaming to my dad “nO LISTEN TO ME IF SUNSHINE WERE TO TAKE HUMAN FORM IT WOULD TAKE THE SHAPE OF TATIANA MASLANY ARE YOU HEARING ME DAD ARE YOU COMPREHENDING”
oldernfaraway: my dad: what are you doing me: watching supernatural my dad: that guy with that deep, fake manly voice is so annoying me: Dean? my dad: yeah that one ** in a deep fake manly voice**“sammy, sammy” i can’t deal with
thechillgatsby: thorsies: IMPORTANT FACTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST BECAUSE UR FRIEND’S PARENTS SEEM NICE WHEN YOU MEET THEM DOES NOT MEAN THEY ARE NICE PEOPLE B/C YOU DO NOT SEE WHAT HAPPENS BEHIND CLOSED DOORS!!!!!!!!! SO IF FRIEND TELLS YOU THAT PARENTS
dumbrapeslut: brutalwhoreabuse: “You hear this, Dad? This is the sound of me being useful, Are you proud of me?” I wish more guys would take my phone and call my dad while they fuck my face.
When I was a kid and my dad would call a restaurant to make an order I used to believe he was saying “I’d like to play señora” instead of “I’d like to place an order”. So for years I used to believe that you had
spirited-fox: Just wanted to tell you all a little story. My dad was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer in august last year and was given 3-6 months to live. He died january 4th, this year. Anyway, just before christmas, I wanted to give my dad
My dad: you can’t trust friends, friends are temporary. There not really there for you. (In my head): OH BUT YOU WERE THERE FOR ME WHEN YOU TRIED TO PUT MY HEAD THROUGH A WALL, SAID/DID INAPPROPRIATE THINGS TO ME AND NEARLY KILLED YOUR SON RIGHT
spookihope: spookihope: my dad calls me wednesday addamsi take it as a compliment tbh me: joshua trees are not trees. they are cacti in disguise.dad: no, they’re trees. if you cut them open they have rings–me: if you cut me open i have rings, am
eridan-amporadorable: IT! DOES! NOT! MATTER! IF! YOU! ARE! JOKING! IF! SOMEONE! IS! UNCOMFORTABLE! WITH! WHAT! YOU! ARE! SAYING! THEN! HAVE! SOME! RESPECT! AND! STOP! SAYING! WHATEVER! IT! IS! YOU! ARE! SAYING!
GUys my aunt called my dad Lucifer… My aunt:So Lucifer as I was saying the war of 1914- ME: DAD ARE YOU LUCIFER! Dad: wut me:….nothing
You never understand how good your parents are at being parents till you see them caring for a baby. My dad just brought my baby step-niece from a crying teething mess to happily taking a nap on his shoulder in less than 5 minutes after I struggled to
oxblood74: dont fucking have kids if your compassion has limits and you are only able to love under certain conditions.
thenonbinarysafespace: It’s okay to change your identity. It’s okay to discover new and different versions of yourself and it is okay to move forward and completely change your identities as they come and go and are. To be human is to be fluid, to
beyoncescock: waywardsonapocalypse:godstiels-fallen-dragon: familyfriendlyporno: brookeeverdeen: DAD JOKE well at the end of the movie it really was just hazel ARE YOU SERIOUS YOU SOGGY LAMP HOW COULD YOU you soggy lamp
renniequeer: renniequeer: My dad: “So if your pronouns are they and them, how should I refer to you when I brag about you? My daughter? My son?” Me: “Mom’s just been calling me her kid or her child.” My dad: “I shall call you…my Eldest
mortitz: #Lestrade reminds me of that sarcastic single father #always poking his nose into his teenage son’s business #like #Dad why are you in my room what are you DOING #….IT’S A DRUGS BUST #DAD I DON’T DO DRUGS OMG #I know but you’ve
Sooo dethklok may return for another tour 👁👁Knowing that, I was finally motivated to buy this babymetal tee I’ve wanted for ages… if they DO have another tour you’ll catch me in this + a thong + waving around my hatsune miku lightstick.
bootleg-firework: shrinking-ulzzang: rabid-logan: barbie-isalive: This is very important if you’re ever in a situation similar this pretend that you’re dead don’t scream and @#!*% my dad told us this if someone shoots up our school SUPER IMPORTANT
Shitty as my dad is, I got some hella good friends that are worth more than a million of him.
smoothlikestrider replied to your post: … wait how tall are you again 5'4" ! my mom and dad both have big feet so naturally i had to inherit them too LOL
i have 3 anons who are amethyst birthstones and their opinions on it range from hated it before to love it now and hate it and still hate it, im sorry friends //pet pet
Dad in ER
My dad only dates white women, and you have no idea how uncomfortable I got when I realized it. I ran through the list of women he’s been with in my lifetime, including my mom and my stepmom: they are indeed all white. All the women he’s ever
cartoonsandincest: My dad and uncle are really close. They will share everything. The day I let my dad fuck me he next day my uncle did. Now I can’t tell you how good it feels when your dad’s cock in in your pussy while your uncle’s cock is ramming
skdjgsg my dad is such a music elitistwe all know the only kind of ‘’good music™’‘ for you are classic rock and classic music, there’s no need for you to state how “boring, plain, forgettable and all the saaaame sounding” every single
