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goatpolice: my friend and this girl were dating and they have the same last name so we used to always make jokes about them being related but they kept saying they werent and then after they broke up they found out the were second cousins
daddyswhore: I’ve always looked up to my mom. I’ve done everything I can to be just like her. I’ve even fucked the same cock as her. My dad is teaching me how to fuck just like my mom. He says I’m not very good yet so I have to practice until
dextermanning: i want both the AH watch and the RT watch so i can wear both at the same time so that when people ask me why i have to watches i can say “i wear two watches BECAUSE ITS ALWAYS TIME TO DIDDLE”
look it’s my boobs