Keep Beach City Weird (keepbeachcityweird.tumblr.com)
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DOUBLE NEVERMIND!!! KEEP BEACH CITY WEIRD IS BACK!!! I was completely wrong about Sneople, but I’ve got new theory that’s ROCK SOLID! Because it has to do with rocks! Polymorphic Sentient Rocks!!! They’re here to hollow out the
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Check out what I found while skinning a bag of potatoes at the Fry Shop! Does this studly spud remind you of anyone? Maybe a certain blogger?It’s me! It looks just like me! I’m sure the boys in the White House Science Lab would have you believe
I’ve been going through my Weird Files - my collection of Weird Findings that I keep in my Weird Filing Cabinet - and I think it’s all starting coming together. The strange rocks. The mysterious holes. The enigmatic
Time for another RONALDO RANT! Fish Stew Pizza’s VIP(izza) coupons are bogus! Kofi told me that you gotta buy a whole pizza if you want it to count towards a free pizza - INDIVIDUAL SLICES DON’T COUNT! That’s ridiculous! I
I SAW A UFO!!! An Ultimate Fighting Optometrist? No! An Unidentified Flying Object!!! I was out bat watching, it being Dracula season and all, when I saw something shooting through the night sky! The speed and trajectory could only mean it was
HOLY MOLY THE OCEAN IS BACK!!!! Steven and his friends got the ocean back! Not that I was personally worried. I don’t particularly enjoy swimming or boating or the outdoors in general, but the ocean was the backbone of our small town economy.
HOLY MOLY THE OCEAN IS GONE!!!! I don’t know how it happened! The beach is a desert! I can’t even formulate coherent theories right now. Government subsidized desalinization for Illuminati pool parties? Ecco the Dolphin LARPers gone too
So thanks, everyone, for getting the word out on not reblogging my post. Unfortunately, by getting the word out on not reblogging my post, EVERYONE WAS REBLOGGING MY POST. I was up all night trying to contact Tumblr and get them to take down all the
crystal-gems: keepbeachcityweird: What the heck is this?! Someone put up a fence around the Beach City Lighthouse! And the only reason for anyone to put up a fence is if they’ve got SOMETHING TO HIDE!!! Or if they have a dog. Or a pool.
What the heck is this?! Someone put up a fence around the Beach City Lighthouse! And the only reason for anyone to put up a fence is if they’ve got SOMETHING TO HIDE!!! Or if they have a dog. Or a pool. Or if the homeowners association in
While combing the beach for the unexplained, and buried pirate treasure, I found some very mysterious chips. They’re of the potato persuasion, ruffled and coated with some sort of green “flavor-substance”. I suspected it to be a
At any given moment, if you asked me what I was thinking about, the answer would be one of two things: katana swords, or THE POSSIBILITY OF ALTERNATE TIMELINES RUNNING PARALLEL TO OUR OWN! Proving the existence of these timelines can be pretty tricky,
Beach City was on fire today! The whole boardwalk! Some blame teenage hijinks, but I know the real culprit: The Ghost of William Buford Buchanan, Beach City’s Most Notorious Arsonist! He set a record 335 fires in the summer of 1862. Back then,
Update FROM MY PHONE. UGH! Moments after my photo shoot, some CRAZY THING came out of the ocean and SHOOK THE EARTH! I dropped my laptop and it broke… AGAIN. I have no idea what that thing was, but I can only assume fracking is to blame. Probably
KEEP BEACH CITY WEIRD IS BACK! I’ve been off the grid for the summer. Not because government was on my tail, but because I… dropped my phone in the toilet. And then I was googling “how to remove a phone from a toilet in a way that
I’ve heard rumors of an ancient mystery at the Beach City Mini-Golf and Shrimp Buffet. Legend is the giant plastic dinosaur at the 6th hole IS AN ACTUAL DINOSAUR. Supposedly the original owner secretly kept it as a pet, and after it died, he
The pizza shop where I steal wi-fi was ATTACKED FROM THE SKY! And on the very afternoon I was going to upload my exposé on DRONES… PTERODACTYL DRONES! Coincidence? I think NEVER! It’s too bad I couldn’t upload the 2TB PDF - it’s
I saw Dogcopter 3 in 3D tonight and all I have to say is WOOF! First of all, it’s a huge mistake to turn the last Dogcopter book into THREE movies. Yes, the last book is over 900 pages, but there’s not enough story! And the 3D was complete
A lot of WEIRD weather has been happening in Beach City lately. First, a crystal flower shower, and now it’s raining GUYS! You know, G.U.Y.S.? Guys Under Your Supervision! They’re toys. My guess is it’s some viral marketing
Yesterday, a bunch of weird crystalline flowers showered Beach City at sunset. Who knows where this mysterious flora came from. Perhaps it was a seasonal gift from nature. Or perhaps it was to signal THE INVASION OF BEE PEOPLE FROM OUTER SPACE!!!
This week, I thought I’d investigate the classic legend of the BEACH CITY CARNIE GRAVEYARD! Back in the 30s, the county passed a law banning “circus folk” from being buried amongst “regular folk”. So the circus folk
SOMEONE BROKE TEENS OF RAGE!!! ask;ldfjas! Teens of Rage was my favorite game! I’m just so full of some kind of emotion. ANGER! No anger isn’t the right word. But something like anger! Funland had the only Teens of Rage cabinet in
I was FOOLED yesterday. FOOLED into thinking Steven had an invisible pet lion. So stupid. I like to think of myself as a skeptical free-thinker, so I’m surprised I believed such a silly idea. In other news, Steven might be pregnant! Haven&rsquo
I TAKE IT BACK, WRESTLING IS VERY REAL. Purple Puma totally buried me tonight! I didn’t even get to use my signature move, the Head Loch! Let’s face it, I’m just going to be a mid-card jobber for the rest of my life. At least
Just snapping a quick selfie before my match tonight at Beach City Underground! Since I pinned Tommy Ten Fingers last week, the Loch Ness Bloggster finally getting his big main event push against one of the company’s top heels! Don’t
Sorry for the lapse of entries, but I’ve been hard at work investigating the latest amusement park disaster to strike Beach City’s Funland. For those of you out of towners, a couple weeks ago a ride malfunctioned and turned Beach City into
Steven’s Fingers!!!! What!!
The other day my little bro, Peedee, was being all serious about life and our jobs at the fry shop. I think he’s tired of wearing that fry costume. Pretty sure he wants to work the deep fryer like me. I’m like, bro, if you want this job
Welcome to KEEP BEACH CITY WEIRD! Where I document all that is weird in Beach City. Unfortunately, the ol’ BC has been pretty quiet this week… Oh, except for the fact that I TALKED TO A FISH! There’s this fish aquarium store on
Oh boy, last Monday something CRAZY WEIRD happened in Beach City. The sky turned blood red! Winds kicked up so high that my dad’s car flipped over! And a GIANT EYEBALL THINGY was in the sky! My little brother blamed global warming for the
Astral Projection! The ability to travel outside your physical body and into other planes of existence! This metaphysical practice has been used by shamans, witches and even the 32nd President of the United States, Franklin Delano Roosevelt. Because
Greetings citizens of Earth and other dimensions that can interpret html waveforms! Did you ever think to yourself, that just perhaps, behind the veil of normality there lies something else? Something fantastic… something intriguing… somethi
