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dbareactions: When the job candidate can code FizzBuzz in SQL
dbareactions: When the DBAs find out the CIO is thinking about buying a million dollar BI appliance Cognos
dbareactions: When the Oracle team asked if I wanted a login to play around with I like onions. This is logical.
dbareactions: The developers when the backup generator fails (HT AskTheAnalyst) :-)
dbareactions: When I decommission the last Sybase server Oh happy day!
dbareactions: How I feel after sending my 2,000 line results email after reviewing someone’s 16,000 line SQL script. (HT @SQLsoldier) As a fan of the Green Flash at sunset, I can tell you this is underrated.
dbareactions: When I download a whitepaper and the subsequent sales caller realizes I’m just a cut-out for one of our Execs. (HT @AskTheAnalyst) :-)
dbareactions: When the help desk comes in with the phone in their hand Ha!
dbareactions: When I mention to the DBA that they absent-mindedly floated the one date in a six-field table. (HT @AskTheAnalyst)
dbareactions: When the security team tries to take away my admin rights on the database server
dbareactions: When the developers learned that last year I set up aliases on all of their desktops so that this whole time, when they connected to SQLPROD1, they were actually connecting to SQLDEV1
dbareactions: When I type a thoughtfully crafted search into Google and then hit F5. (HT AskTheAnalyst) AKA: “Maggie’s Drawers”
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dbareactions: When we gave Visual Studio to the mainframe developer
dbareactions: When I get an Linked In message from a recruiter looking for someone with a strong background in writing Crystal Reports. (HT Katie) Not that kind of analysis!
dbareactions: The day you finally understand the difference between Disaster Recovery and Business Continuity. (HT @AskTheAnalyst) Heh.
dbareactions: When the training webcast turns out to be vendor spam
dbareactions: The junior DBA doing their first database restore. (HT @OracleSean)
dbareactions: My non DBA friends when I send them hilarious DBA reactions (HT @EvilPrincess)
dbareactions:When the project manager starts questioning my work estimates
dbareactions:When the BI team comes to ask for an index and we end up building their ‘data mart’ for them. (HT @AskTheAnalyst) Heh.
dbareactions: Microsoft announcing SQL server for Linux https://blogs.microsoft.com/blog/2016/03/07/announcing-sql-server-on-linux/ Analysis.
dbareactions: When I notice my predecessor, who left me with a hot spaghetti mess of replication Analysis
dbareactions: When I try to build recursive CTEs I’m still not ready to talk about it. Thanks for bringing it up, tho.
dbareactions: The first time I saw what I’d have to do to make filtered indexes work Unfiltered analysis.
dbareactions: Developers about to lose sysadmin…
dbareactions: When the job posting mentions SQL Server, Sharepoint, Dynamics, IIS, PowerShell, Skype for Business, and Windows support - all in the same ad
dbareactions: After a major deploy through the night will no sleep, the CIO offers to recognize the team in an email for all of our hard work.
dbareactions: When we suggest that the CTO should also let go of his office and join us in the cube farms if they’re really so much more productive
dbareactions: Load testing the dev server.
dbareactions: “Yeah, I gave the QA guys sysadmin permissions, and they’re logging in now. Why?”
dbareactions:When the management ask me to store non-relational data in sql C’mon! You can totally query the users’ hand-typed notes!!!
dbareactions:How you feel after deploying your first SSIS package in production!! (HT @drk2cmp)
dbareactions:When you suggest to the developers importing a data file into the database using SSIS is more efficient and quicker to implement than coding it in C#.
dbareactions: When we built a script to automatically convert incoming emails into help desk tickets - for another department
dbareactions: When I unlock my workstation and realize I left a transaction open
dbareactions: Meanwhile, at the Delta airlines backup power generator site
dbareactions: When you’re the applicant in a job interview and you ask what the team environment is like, and the interviewer replies “We don’t talk much but I share all MY scalar functions”. #wrongonsomanylevels
dbareactions: When the vendor says, “No, we don’t put indexes on our tables because they slow down inserts.”
